LET NO UNWHOLESOME WORD PROCEED FROM YOUR MOUTH: pas logos sapros ek tou stomatos humon me ekporeuestho, (3SPMM):  (5:3,4; Psalms 5:9; 52:2; 73:7-9; Matthew 12:34-37; Romans 3:13,14; 1 Corinthians 15:32,33; Colossians 3:8,9; 4:6; James 3:2-8; 2 Peter 2:18; Jude 1:13-16; Revelation 13:5,6) 

The Greek order is,

“every word corrupt, out of your mouth let it not proceed.”

These are strong words but good advice

When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise. (Pr 10:19,)

Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Pr 29:20)

Born again believers need to reflect their new nature and reclaim the original virtue God intended for speech between men and God and men (especially husbands and wives! fathers and children!)

Above all live in God's Word and you will always have a word from God. Your "spiritual blood" will be "Bibline" as Spurgeon said of Bunyan and his writings...remember what comes out is related to what goes in -- G.I.G.O. ~ garbage in, garbage out OR "God's word IN, God's word OUT".

Unwholesome (4550) (sapros from sepo = cause to decay, to putrefy, to rot away, be corrupted) describe that which is rotten, putrefying, corrupt, disgusting, perishing (e.g., in Mt 7:17,18 = fruit), in Mt 13:48 = fish). In secular writings sapros was used to describe spoiled fish, rotten grapes on the ground, crumbling stones. The basic meaning relates to the process of decay.

The TDNT adds that

Relating to the process of decay, sepo means “to cause to decay,” or, in the passive, “to decay,” “to rot,” and figuratively “to perish.” Sapros means “rotting,” either literally or figuratively, and the sense of “unpleasant” (even to the ears) is also possible. A person is sapros when old, and the same applies to food and drink, which may be better when sapros (e.g., ripe cheese). In general, what is sapros is “unserviceable‘’ rather than “offensive,” but the word may also mean “harmful” or “notorious” (someone’s name). (Kittel, G., Friedrich, G., & Bromiley, G. W.  Theological Dictionary of the New Testament. Eerdmans)

From the context a "sapros" word is any word that is not good for edifying where that effect is needed. Hence in that sense a "sapros word" is an unprofitable word (as for example "idle gossip"). Our words do not have to be “dirty” to be worthless.

Word (3056) (logos) means something said but not simply in the grammatical sense as explained in the following. In classical Greek logos meant “the word or outward form by which the inward thought is expressed and made known,” or “the inward thought or reason itself.” Logos referred to power of mind manifested in speech, also to the reason. Logos never meant in classical Greek a word in the grammatical sense as the mere name of a thing, but rather the thing referred to, the material, not the formal part. Greek has 3 words, rhema, onoma, epos which designate a word in its grammatical sense, a function which logos does not have. Logos has the double meaning of thought and speech

Someone once said (but I'm not sure how scientific it is) that 90% of the friction of daily life is caused by the wrong tone of voice.

Mouth (4750) (stoma) mouth or opening, chiefly as an instrument of speech.

Proceed (1607) (ekporeuomai from ek = out + poreúomai = go) means to depart, be discharged, proceed out of, project, come forth, come out of, go forth. This is a very picturesque verb, giving the sense that once the word (with the thought) has taken wing from our tongues, we cannot capture it. It's too late. We need to shut the cage door before the word flies out like a deadly projectile!

The fastest horse cannot catch a word spoken in anger. - Chinese Proverb

Paul uses the present imperative with a negative saying in essence "Stop letting these rotten words project, fly out of your mouth" Note the associated admonition in the next verse - Clearly grieving the Spirit is related to rotten language ejecting from our mouths and ultimately reflecting what is in our hearts  (see Lu 6:45, Mt 12:34,35) because the mouth and heart are connected.

Wiersbe writes that...

We expect a change in speech when a person becomes a Christian. It is interesting to trace the word mouth through Romans and see how Christ makes a difference in a man’s speech. The sinner’s mouth is “full of cursing and bitterness” (see note Romans 3:14); but when he trusts Christ, he gladly confesses with his mouth “Jesus Christ is Lord” (see notes Romans 10:9; 10:10). As a condemned sinner, his mouth is stopped before the throne of God (see note Romans 3:19); but as a believer, his mouth is opened to praise God (see note Romans 15:6). Change the heart and you change the speech. Paul certainly knew the difference, for when he was an unsaved rabbi, he was “breathing threats and murder” (Acts 9:1). But when he trusted Christ, a change took place: “Behold, he is praying” (Acts 9:11). From “preying” to “praying” in one step of faith! (Wiersbe, W: Bible Exposition Commentary. 1989. Victor)

Eadie writes

"The precious hour should never be polluted with corrupt speech, nor should it be wasted in idle and frivolous dialogue...conversation should always exercise a salutary influence, regulated by special need. Words so spoken may fall like winged seeds upon a neglected soil and there may be future germination & fruit"

 BUT ONLY SUCH A WORD AS IS GOOD FOR EDIFICATION ACCORDING TO THE NEED OF THE MOMENT:  alla ei tis agathon pros oikodomen tes chreias:  (Deuteronomy 6:6-9; Psalms 37:30,31; 45:2; 71:17,18,24; 78:4,5; Proverbs 10:31,32; 12:13; Proverbs 15:2-4,7,23; 16:21; 25:11,12; Isaiah 50:4; Malachi 3:16-18; Luke 4:22; 1 Corinthians 14:19; Colossians 3:16,17; 4:6; 1 Thessalonians 5:11)  (12,16)

But (235) (alla) highlights a dramatic contrasting thought. The words that should proceed from my mouth should edify, build up, encourage, not tear down, not discourage!  To even make this point even more emphatically see how our Lord Himself defines "CARELESS" WORDS

"And I say to you, that every careless (argos from a = negative + ergon = work means literally "not working words"!) word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment. (Mt12:36) (2 Cor 5:10 We each will be repaid for our non-working words. Lord, so teach us how to speak Your words. Set a guard O Lord over our mouth. Keep watch over the door of our lips. (cf Psalm 141:3) 

Illustration of "careless word" from Our Daily Bread...

In 1980, Lee Atwater, a political campaign manager, inflicted terrible pain with his words. His staff learned that an opposing congressional candidate from South Carolina had once experienced severe depression and undergone electric shock therapy. When Atwater released the information to the press, it humiliated the candidate and cast doubt on his ability. In anguish, the man questioned Atwater's campaign ethics. Atwater responded by saying that he had no intention of responding to a man "hooked up to a jumper cable." Ten years later, Atwater was afflicted with an incurable brain tumor. He was confined to bed, attached to machines and tubes and wires. Before he died, he wrote the candidate a letter and asked to be forgiven. He saw how cruel and heartless his words had been. Our words can be just as devastating. And it seems that it's our children or family or fellow believers whom we hurt the most. As believers in Christ, we have an obligation before God to evaluate the impact of our words. Idle, angry, hateful words can inflict great harm, for which we will be held accountable (Mt 12:36-37).

Ask God for help. Before hurtful words come pouring out of your mouth, think first—then leave them unsaid. —DCE (Our Daily Bread, Copyright RBC Ministries, Grand Rapids, MI. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved)

Use words of kindness, filled with love,
That heal and nourish life
Instead of hurling angry words
That wound and stir up strife. —Sper

Think before you act; think twice before you speak.

Good (18) (agathos) (Click word study on agathos) means profitable, benefiting others, whereas the related word kalos means constitutionally good, but not necessarily benefiting others.

As noted in the next verse one of the ways that we may grieve the Holy Spirit is by frivolous, worthless conversation. Actually, time is too short and valuable to be wasted. It needs to be spent in edifying words and works. (see notes Ephesians 5:16, Colossians 4:5; 4:6).

Edification (3619) (oikodome from oikos = dwelling + doma = building) is literally the building of a house and can refer to the actual process of building or construction (and figuratively the process of edification or building up spiritually). Another literal meaning is as a reference to a building or edifice which is the result of a construction process. Figuratively, as used in this verse, oikodome refers to the process in which one speaks words that build up, instruct or improve spiritually.

Note that Webster says that "edify" is from Latin word meaning to erect a house.  Believers are to speak good to others to instruct, improve, inform, enlighten and uplift them, especially in the moral and ethical sphere. Sapros words have the opposite effect.

 the church as the building for God's indwelling.

According to ()

Need of the moment (5532) (chreia from chréos = debt) refers to that which is needed or is a necessity.

SO THAT IT WILL GIVE GRACE TO THOSE WHO HEAR: hina do (3SAAS) charin tois akouousin. (PAPMPD):   (Matthew 5:16; 1 Peter 2:12; 3:1)

So that (2443) (hina) expresses purpose of edifying words.

Give (1325)(didomi)

The New Man's speech should be edifying (building up not tearing down), appropriate (suited to the occasion) and gracious (imparting grace to the hearer's ear and heart).

Grace (5485) (charis) (Click word study of charis) in context is quality that adds delight or pleasure or a winning quality or attractiveness that invites a favorable reaction (graciousness, attractiveness, charm, winsomeness)

The English word "grace" is from the Latin "gratia" meaning favor, charm or thanks. Gratia in turn is derived from "gratus" meaning free, ready, quick, willing, prompt.

Hear (191) (akouo) means to hear with attention, with the ear of the mind or effectually so as to respond appropriately  to what has been spoken or taught.

Wayne Barber explains our Brand New Way of Life in the context of "Rotten Speech" writing...

Ephesians 4:29, we become a person who builds up rather than tears down. This is so explicit I don’t even have to say a lot about it. Let me just read it.

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth."

That is interesting. He has talked about what we say twice. Once not lying, but now this is any general speech that comes out of our mouth. It changes gear a little bit. The word "unwholesome" there is the word sapros. It means rotten, something that is rotten, something that decays.

A principle comes to my mind. If you take a barrel of good apples and put one bad apple in that barrel, do you think the good apples are going to crowd out the bad apple and therefore all the apples are going to become good? No, it works exactly the opposite. One rotten, putrid apple will begin to contaminate every single good apple that is in that barrel. That is the way our speech is. The word "rotten" is that which decays, that which putrefies. The way you talk to people is incredibly different when you have the new garment on compared to when you have the old garment on.

Paul goes on to explain

"but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear."

In other words, this is so relative that you can’t really apply it in an adequate way. It fits whatever situation you are in. The Holy Spirit will give you words that can build up. That doesn’t mean that you are never to confront. That doesn’t mean you don’t address problems, but it does mean that whatever you do, you do it with an attitude of building up and not tearing down.

SEVERAL THINGS YOU CAN DO TO TO THE HOLY SPIRIT

Then Paul says in verse 30,

"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."

When he says, "Do not grieve," the word "grieve," lupeo, is a love word. In other words, there are several things you can do with the Holy Spirit. I want you to know that the Holy Spirit is not an "it." He is not the force as Star Wars tells us. He is a person who lives within us. He is the person, the Spirit of Christ who lives within us, the third person of the trinity.

1) He can be resisted.

Acts 7:51 talks about the religious Jew where it says

"You men who are stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears are always resisting the Holy Spirit; you are doing just as your fathers did."

He can be resisted by the lost

2) He can be quenched by the church.

In 1Thessalonians 5:19 (note) he Paul instructs us...

"Do not quench the Spirit."

Quench is plural indicating Paul is addressing the entire church. You can put the fire out. You can quench the Holy Spirit.

3) He can be grieved.

Here in Ephesians 4:30 (note) the individual believer can grieve the Holy Spirit and so Paul says, "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God."

Well, what does it mean? Well, in context, it means don’t become a taker or you have just grieved the Spirit of God who is a giver. Don’t let any unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth, or you have just grieved the Spirit of God who is the builder of the church. Don’t grieve the Spirit of God.

Do you ever grieve somebody you love? There have been times that I have said things that have pierced my wife’s heart, not really knowing how much damage it could actually do. This was true especially years ago when I was just learning how to walk and live the Christian life. It’s not as much often now, thank God, as it was then. But when you grieve somebody you love and you can’t take back what you have said and you know now how they feel, that is exactly what happens to the Holy Spirit every time we refuse to put on the new garment of Jesus Christ. It grieves Him. It distresses Him. The word means to distress someone.

Paul says,

"do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."

That refers to the day Jesus comes for the church. He is there in your life for a reason and He wants to control your life.

I think Ephesians 4:27 (note) and Ephesians 4:30 parallel each other. In other words, I think he brings both spirits into play, the Holy Spirit and the unholy spirit who is just an angel, certainly not equal to God. He brings them both into play. Which one are you going to please? If I grieve the Holy Spirit, I have just given the unholy spirit an opportunity. If I bless and please the Holy Spirit, then I have just frustrated the unholy spirit. I’ve got a choice to make. The devil is not somebody we reckon with, folks. He can only be in one place at a time. He is not omnipresent. His system is in this world. He is wherever God is working in such a way that he had to get his attention to stop it. I pray that some day we will be the kind of church that would attract that kind of attention. Folks, let me tell you something. His spirit is in this world. The mark he left on humanity is our flesh. When he gets us to put on the old garment, he doesn’t have to get in us. That old garment does the damage. We have given him an opportunity, and he takes it from there in the downward spiral of self.

Well, maybe you feel convicted. I am. Do you know what you do when you realize you’ve sinned? Let me tell you what to do. There is such grace in this. Come right back to where you departed. You confess, which means you agree with God,

"God, I have missed the mark. I am doing more damage to the body of Christ than I am building it up and God, I want to stop it."

Secondly, you repent. Now the forgiveness will be there when you confess. You can appropriate that at that point. Now you must repent.

If you’ve done wrong, if you have been wearing the wrong garment this past week, if you’ve offended other people and you know by what you have said that you have hurt them, first of all confess it and make sure you make it right with them and then repent of it.

A young fellow was in the house with his dad and his family. It was warm inside. Outside it was below zero, the wind blowing, snow stacking up. It was awful outside. Inside it was a warm house, insulated, fire in the fireplace. You can just get the picture. A ball game on television. Carpet on the floor. You could smell the bread cooking in the kitchen. Supper was about ready. It was just where you want to be. The boy was sitting there enjoying it, and the father looked over at him and said,

"Hey listen, son, put another log on the fire."

The son jumped up and said,

"I am 18 years old and I’m sick and tired of being told what to do when I am in this house. I am leaving, and you can have it. You do it yourself. If you want a log on the fire, put it on yourself."

He went upstairs, got a duffle bag, put his clothes in it and walked out of that house. He walked about a block. The wind was picking up. The chill factor now below zero. The wind was burning his face it was blowing so hard. He was cold and thinking to himself,

"You know, I was just inside that house and it was warm. I was about ready to eat, and it was wonderful fellowship. This is sort of stupid."

He finally decides to go back. So he walks back to the house kind of sheepishly and knocked on the door. The father opened the door and said,

"Hey, son. Good to see you. Been gone 30 minutes. I thought you were leaving for a while. Good to see you. Come on in. Take your stuff upstairs, unpack and come on down and watch the ball game with me."

He went downstairs and sat in the chair. Boy, he was glad to be home! This is where he belongs. While he was sitting there, the father looked over at him and said,

"Oh, by the way, put another log on the fire."

Folks, you can confess until you fall over in the floor and you will never have that new garment on until you put another log on the fire and go back and repent of what you didn’t do before. If you are not going to obey, forget what you’ve heard. You are going to wear that old garment and you are going to be miserable. We will have to put a tag on you because Paul says mark those who cause division. The people who cause division are people who won’t wear the new garment. People who wear the new garment preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bonds of peace. (Ephesians 4:22-27: A Brand New Way of Life -  3)

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A young lady once said to John Wesley, “I think I know what my talent is. It’s to speak my mind.” He replied, “I don’t think God would mind if you bury that talent.”

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Our Daily Bread - "Small Thing, Big Impact"
 

Are most people truth-tellers? Can what they say be taken at face value? Or are they like the ancient Cretans, whose reputation was that they were "always liars"? (Titus 1:12).

Lies, of course, are communicated by the tongue. That small part of the human body can make a powerful impact. It can ruin a reputation. It can destroy a friendship. It can cause lasting heartache.

On the other hand, the tongue can give comfort and hope in time of bereavement. It can shine the light of saving truth into the mind of someone wandering in spiritual darkness. It can praise and glorify God.

We shouldn't be surprised, then, that Scripture repeatedly urges us to exercise great wisdom and care in how we use this small part of the body. Proverbs 18:21 is not exaggerating when it warns us that "death and life are in the power of the tongue." David was not indulging in pointless poetry when he denounced "men . . . whose teeth are spears and arrows, and their tongue a sharp sword" (Psalm 57:4). And the apostle James said that the tongue can be as destructive as a fire (James 3:1-12).

By the Holy Spirit's power, may we use our tongues to bless our hearers, build up one another, and glorify our Creator in prayer and praise. —VCG —Vernon C Grounds (Our Daily Bread, Copyright RBC Ministries, Grand Rapids, MI. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved)

DO NOT GRIEVE THE HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD: kai me lupeite (2PPAM) to pneuma to hagion tou theou: (Genesis 6:3,6; Judges 10:16; Psalms 78:40; 95:10; Isaiah 7:13; 43:24; 63:10; Ezekiel 16:43; Mark 3:5; Acts 7:51; 1Thessalonians 5:19 - note; Hebrews 3:10,17) 

Grieve (3076) (lupeo from lupe = sadness, grief) means to  feel deep emotional or physical pain, distress. As used here lupeo means to afflict one with sorrow.

Paul uses the present imperative with a negative saying in essence "Stop grieving the Spirit", the implication being that they were grieving Him.

The Holy Spirit is grieved or pained by sin, in context, especially the sins of the tongue!  The Spirit Who makes men attest to the truth is put to shame when the saints lie to one another and utter rotten words to each other.

Holy (40) (hagios) (Click word study on hagios) is literally holy one and refers to one set apart for a special purpose. Hagios was used throughout the NT to speak of anyone or anything that represents God’s holiness: Christ as the Holy One of God, the Holy Spirit, the Holy Father, holy Scriptures, holy angels, holy brethren, and so on.

S Lewis Johnson has this comment on grieving the Holy Spirit...

Now there’s some other things that we can say about this. He says, “Grieve not the Holy Spirit.” We know from the standpoint of New Testament teaching, that when we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit comes to indwell us permanently. Paul does not say, “Grieve not away the Holy Spirit,” as if it’s possible for us, having believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, to live in such a way that the Holy Spirit departs from us. No, it is simply, “Grieve not the Holy Spirit of God.” We cannot grieve him away. He’s always there. In fact, he’s with us wherever we are at all times. And all of the things that we utter are uttered in the presence of the Holy Spirit.

There’s another thing about this word. Grieve is a love word. You don’t grieve people who don’t love you. Sometimes people use words like that. But, to truly grieve a person, what is necessary is that the other person must have high regard for you. So that grieve is a word of love. That is the word that is used here: grieve not the Holy Spirit of God. He is grieved, because we are the objects of the love of the triune God. The God who elected. The God who redeemed us. The triune God who brought us to the knowledge of this redemption and regenerated us, came to dwell in us through the Spirit. So when we say things that are displeasing to the Lord, not edifying, things that are said about others, we grieve the Holy Spirit. A love word. If you’ve ever had a relationship to a father or a mother in which you displeased them, you know exactly what Paul is talking about. My father was grieved, my mother would be grieved with me, because they loved me. So, this is a wonderful little statement, really, “grieve not the Holy Spirit of God.” We cannot grieve him away. And he loves us. (Pdf )

F B Meyer cautions that...

WE MUST WATCH CAREFULLY OUR OWN ATTITUDE TO THE HOLY SPIRIT. He is not merely an influence; He is a person, and may easily be grieved. The Dove of God is very tender and gentle; and if there are thorns in the nest, He cannot remain. The things that grieve Him are instantly recognised by the holy soul by an immediate veiling of the inner light. They are enumerated here as bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, railing, with all kinds of malice. There is no secret of the inner life more necessary than to retain the inner presence of an ungrieved Spirit.

But let us also seek to befilled by Him. We have drunk of Him, as Jesus has placed the pitcher to our lips; but we should never rest till He has become in us a spring of water, leading up to eternal life. The Holy Spirit is in every believer; but He cannot be said to fill each. There is all the difference possible between a few drops at the bottom of a bucket and a brimming well; between a few stray flowers scattered sparsely through the glade, and the myriads that make it blue with hyacinths or yellow with primroses.

To be filled with the Spirit was the blessing of Pentecost; but it awaits us all. Indeed, we are here bidden to be Spirit-filled. It is a positive command. We have no option than to obey it. Mentioned in the same paragraph with the love of husband to wife, and the obedience of child to the parent, it is as obligatory as either. Let no reader of these lines rest without seeking and receiving by faith this blessed gift, which God is able to make abound towards us. Receive it without emotion by faith: reckon it is yours: and act as if you felt it. (Devotional Commentary on Ephesians)

BY WHOM YOU WERE SEALED FOR THE DAY OF REDEMPTION: en o esphragisethete (2PAPI) eis hemeran apolutroseos: (1:13)  (1:14; Hosea 13:14; Luke 21:28; Romans 8:11,23; 1 Corinthians 1:30; 15:54) 

Sealed (4972) (sphragizo from sphragis = seal, engraved object used to make a mark - denoting ownership, approval, or closure of something normally done by pressing into heated wax usually attached to a document or letter) means to set a seal upon, mark with a seal. In the secular Greek use of sphragizo, the sealing signified at least four results --