Remember (3403) (mnaomai through the idea of fixture in mind or of mental grasp) means to recall information from memory, but without necessarily implication persons have actually forgotten

Remember is in the present imperative calling for the readers to continually keep the prisoners in mind (in context very likely the ones who had been imprisoned for their faith in Messiah).

Andrew Murray (The Holiest of All) writes...

Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; them that are evil entreated, as being yourselves also in the body. We know so well in our own body that when one member suffers all the members suffer with it. The word points to loving union with Jesus and His body on earth as close and real. This feeling of sympathy may and must be as quick and real in the spiritual as in the natural body. We are to feel towards the prisoners and the persecuted as if we ourselves were suffering. We have been admitted to a life in the home and the love of God; they who abide there will learn thus to love.

AS THOUGH IN PRISON WITH THEM: os sundedemenoi (RPPMPN):

Prison with - The perfect tense views the completed condition. They had been imprisoned at a point in time and were still in prison. This command is practically relevant because under Roman law individuals could be imprisoned as detention until punishment was meted out and prisoners often had to depend on outside sources for sustenance.  Christians at this time could be arrested and imprisoned for their faith in Christ, and this would make this command even more serious, as those who aided the prisoners might be viewed also as ones who should be imprisoned! This would be counting the cost in a big way. In the Olivet Discourse Jesus made it clear that to minister to a prisoner in the name of Christ is to minister to Christ Himself (Mt 25:36, 40).

In America believers are not (yet) arrested for believing in Jesus as the Only Way to the Father (Jn 14:6),  but many believers suffer throughout the world are being called daily to suffer for their faith in Jesus. How we need to pray for them and share with them as the Lord enables us! (See The Voice of the Martyrs Website)

PRISON; PRISONER [ISBE] -PRISON; PRISONER - priz'-n, priz'-'-n-er, priz'-ner (there are various Hebrew words which are rendered "prison" in the King James Version, among them:

1. Hebrew Words:

(1) cohar, "round house," "fortress" (8 times in Genesis), (2) kele' "restraint," "confinement" (12 times: in historic books, Isaiah, Jeremiah, with "house"), (3) maTTarah, "guard," "sentry" (13 times in Jeremiah and Nehemiah), (4) mahaphekheth, "distorting," i.e. stocks or pillory (4 times), (5) 'ecur, "bond," "fetters" (Eccl 4:14; Jer 37:15); "ward" in the King James Version is usually the rendering for mishmar):

2. In Early Times:

The earliest occurrence of the word "prison" in the King James Version is found in the narrative of Joseph's life in Egypt (the Jahwist). The term used, namely, cohar, means perhaps "round house" or "tower." It seems probable that among the Hebrews there were no special buildings erected as "jails" in the premonarchical period, and perhaps not before the post-exilic period, when the adoption of the civic institutions and customs of surrounding nations prevailed. In Egypt and Assyria, on the contrary, there were probably public buildings corresponding to our modern jails. Among the Hebrews, rooms in connection with the royal palace or the residence of prominent court officials would be used for the purpose.

3. Joseph in Egypt:

According to one narrative (Jahwist) in Genesis the prison in which Joseph was confined had a "keeper," while according to another narrative (the Elohist) the offending members of the royal household, namely, the royal butler and the royal baker, were placed "in ward" with the "captain of the guard" in charge, i.e. in some part of the royal palace. This is still more probable if, instead of "captain of the guard," we should translate "chief of the cooks" i.e. superintendent of the royal kitchen.

4. Causes of Imprisonment:

It was often necessary to restrict the liberty of individuals who for various causes were a menace to those in authority, without inflicting any corporal punishment, e.g. Joseph's brethren were kept "in ward" three days (Gen 42:19); Shimei was forbidden to pass beyond the boundary of Jerusalem (1 Ki 2:36); the person who was caught gathering sticks on the Sabbath was put "in ward" pending his trial (Nu 15:34). In the monarchical period, prophets who criticized the throne were put in prison, e.g. Micaiah by Ahab (1 Ki 22:27), Hanani by Asa (2 Ch 16:10). Hoshea, after his abortive effort to institute an alliance with So or Seve, king of Egypt, was shut up in prison by Shalmaneser (2 Ki 17:4); compare also 2 Ki 25:27 (Jehoiachin in Babylon); Jer 52:11 (Zedekiah in Babylon).

5. Under the Monarchy:

The Book of Jeremiah throws considerable light on the prison system of Jerusalem in the later monarchical period. The prophet was put "in the stocks that were in the upper gate of Benjamin, which was in the house of Yahweh" (20:2). Mere imprisonment was not adequate punishment for the prophet's announcement of Judah's doom; it was necessary to have recourse to the pillory. During the siege of Jerusalem Jeremiah was confined in the "court of the guard, which was in the king of Judah's house" (32:2, etc.). The "court of the guard" was evidently the quarters of the sentry who guarded the royal palace. According to the narrative of Jeremiah 37, the prophet was arrested on a charge of treachery and put in prison "in the house of Jonathan the scribe" (37:15). This verse does not necessarily mean that a private house was used as a prison. The words are capable of another interpretation, namely, that a building known as the "house of Jonathan the scribe" had been taken over by the authorities and converted into a jail. We read in the following verse that the house had a "dungeon" (literally, "house of the pit") and "cabins" or "cells."

6. The Treatment of Prisoners:

The data are not sufficient to enable us to give any detailed description of the treatment of prisoners. This treatment varied according to the character of the offense which led to incarceration. Samson during the period of his imprisonment was compelled to do hard labor (Jdg 16:21). Grinding was the occupation of women, and marked the depth of Samson's humiliation. Dangerous persons were subjected to various kinds of physical mutilation, e.g. Samson was deprived of his sight. This was a common practice in Assyria (2 Ki 25:7). The thumbs and great toes of Adonibezek were cut off to render him incapable of further resistance (Jdg 1:6).

Various forms of torture were in vogue. Hanani the seer was put into the pillory by Asa (for "in a prison house" we should render "in the stocks"; see the Revised Version margin). In Jer 29:26 for "prison," we should render "stocks" (so the Revised Version (British and American)) or "pillory," and for "stocks," "collar" (as in the Revised Version margin). the King James Version renders a different Hebrew word by "stocks" in Job (13:27; 33:11). There was a special prison diet (1 Ki 22:27), as well as a prison garb (2 Ki 25:29).

7. Other Hebrew Words:

There are other Hebrew words rendered "prison" (sometimes incorrectly) in the King James Version. In Ps 142:7, the word which is translated "prison" means a "place of execution," and is derived from a root which denotes, for instance, the isolation of the leper (Lev 13:5; compare Is 24:22; 42:7). In Is 53:8 "oppression" not "prison" is the correct translation while in Is 61:1 the Hebrew denotes "opening of the eyes," rather than "opening of the prison." Prisoners are promised "light after darkness, gleam after gloom."

8. In the New Testament:

In the New Testament "prison" generally occurs for the Greek word phulake, which corresponds to the Hebrew word mishmar, referred to above (Mt 5:25; Mk 6:17; Lk 3:20; Acts 5:19; 1 Pet 3:19). In Rev 18:2, the King James Version renders this word by two different words, namely, "hold" and "cage"; the Revised Version (British and American) employs "hold" in each case (the Revised Version margin "prison"). In one passage "ward" is the rendering in the King James Version (Acts 12:10). In connection with the imprisonment of John the term used is desmoterion, "place of bonds" or "fetters" (Mt 11:2); the same word is used in the case of Peter and John (Acts 5:21,23), and of Paul and Silas (Acts 16:26). But the more common term is also found in these narratives. In Acts 12:17 "prison" renders a Greek word which means "dwelling." In Acts 5:18 the King James Version, "prison" is the rendering for another Greek word, namely, teresis, "watching" or "ward" (the Revised Version (British and American) "ward"). In Acts 4:3, the King James Version employs "hold" as the rendering for the same word. This would correspond to the modern "police station" or "lockup."

Marriage is to be held in honor among all - The words "is to be held" are added to make the reading more fluid. More literally this reads "honourable the marriage in all". Compare Young's Literal...

honourable is the marriage in all, and the bed undefiled, and whoremongers and adulterers God shall judge.

This verse represents a refutation of the practice of asceticism which downgraded marriage.

Regard for marriage and for the physical intimacy of marriage is an essential aspect of the pursuit of holiness (Heb 12:14-note).

Honor - Note that this is the first word in the Greek for emphasis. "Precious the marriage in all"

Honor (5093) (timios - see study of related verb timao) literally speaks of things which are costly, precious or valuable (Re 17:4-note) or of persons who are "precious" and thus are highly regarded, esteemed or honored (Acts 5:34, 17:34). Timios describes that which possesses exceptional value (costly, of great worth). Timios was used to refer to precious metals and stones.

There are 13 uses of timios in the NT - Acts 5:34; 20:24; 1Co 3:12 (referring to works that endure eternally for they are built upon or with "gold, silver and precious stones"); Heb 13:4-note; James 5:7; 1Pe 1:19-note (referring to the "precious blood" of Jesus); 2Pe 1:4-note (the "precious and magnificent promises" of God); Re 17:4-note; Re 18:12-note, Re 18:16-note; Re 21:11-note, Re 21:19-note - observe the striking contrast between the two "women" in the last part of Revelation). The NAS translates it - dear(1), honor(1), precious(8), respected(1), very costly(2). The KJV translates it - precious 8, most precious 2, more precious 1, dear 1, honourable 1, had in reputation 1

There are 33 uses of timios in the Septuagint - 1Sa 3:1; 2Sa 12:30; 1Ki. 5:17; 7:9, 10, 11; 10:2, 10, 11; 1Chr. 20:2; 29:2; 2Chr. 3:6; 9:1, 9, 10; 32:27; Ezra 4:10; Job 28:16; Ps 19:10; 21:3; 116:15; Pr 3:15; 6:26; 8:11, 19; 12:27; 20:6; 24:4; 31:10; Eccl 10:1; Je 15:19; Lam 4:2; Da 11:38; Ho 11:7

The Lord's purpose for His creation of Adam and Eve was that it was to be a permanent, monogamous marriage (Ge 2:21, 22, 23, 24; Mt 19:4, 5, 6), with children raised in the corresponding family unit. Any other type of sexual relationship is wrong (NO MATTER WHAT SOCIETY SAYS!), whether pre-marital, extra-marital, homosexual, incestuous or anything else. How serious is this issue?

"God will judge" the illegal affairs and this even includes masturbation (see Jesus stern warning in Mt 5:28-note,Mt 5:29-note, Mt 5:30-note and note His definition of "adultery"! This is serious business!)

Marriage is honored when the husband is the head (1Co 11:3, Ep 5:23-note), the wife submits (1Pe 3:1-note, 1Pe 3:6-note), there is mutual love and respect (1Pe 3:7-note). Marriage vows must not be taken lightly. Marriage means fidelity and commitment to one's spouse. Only as partners honor marriage can sexual union bring its intended fulfillment. (See Pr 5:15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23; 1Co 7:2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.)

There were two dangerous extremes in the early church and one asceticism and the other libertinism (quality of a person those who unrestrained by convention or morality and especially leading to a dissolute life). Some first-century Christian ascetics (practicing strict self-denial as a measure of personal and especially spiritual discipline) considered “virginity as necessary to Christian perfection.” This later developed in the second century into the Montanist movement, which later spawned celibate monasticism. These individuals falsely concluded that those who choose marriage choose inferior spirituality. Wrong! I have been married for 38 years (2008) and the greatest sanctifying "tool" in my life is my wife! I am far more "spiritual" with her than I ever would have been without her. The logic (illogic) of these celibates dishonors the God ordained institution of marriage. The ascetics were bad, but the real assault on the integrity and honor of marriage came from the libertines who saw marriage as irrelevant as they pursued unbridled sexual fulfillment. Also wrong! Very wrong!

Kent Hughes writes that...

Today radical secular wisdom claims that marriage impedes self-actualization—an unforgivable "sin". The main attacks today are mostly libertine. For many, “marriage” is at best a provisional arrangement between two people (sexual orientation is irrelevant) that can be dissolved whenever one wishes, for any reason. To be sure, not all conventional attitudes toward marriage are as extreme, though there is a growing skepticism regarding love and marriage. As one person sarcastically put it, “Love: temporary insanity curable by marriage.”

But what does this have to do with the survival of the church? Everything! I can think of no more efficient way to sink that ship than through adultery and sexual immorality. The reasons are elementary. Immorality perverts theology. I have seen this time and time again with preachers—famous and unknown. They become involved in a secret affair (perhaps several) and yet keep on preaching. But over time an amazing phenomenon takes place—they unconsciously detach themselves from truth. Like the ancient Averroists, they divide truth, so that there is a truth for them and another truth for others. They may not articulate this, but they become practical relativists, and their relativism so eats away at their belief that many, after the trauma of discovery, leave the faith. Tragic shipwreck!

The damage to the church is immense. Preachers caught in such sins suffer a reduction in spiritual ethos. They increasingly sound like old-time railroad conductors who loudly invite people to embark to destinations they themselves have never visited and to which they are incapable of traveling. Powerlessness becomes the hallmark of their rhetoric.

And, of course, they discredit the Word. I can think of no better way to damn the soul of a junior-higher who is just beginning to experience spiritual stirrings than through the fall of a pastor, Sunday school teacher, or other spiritual leader. There can be no more efficient way to dampen the spiritual aspiration of a young family man than adulterous leaders. Because such sin is a particularly lethal sin against the church, I have at times prayed this with my ministerial colleagues: “Lord, if adultery would lie in the future for any of us should we continue to live—then take us home now.” Better dead than damage the church! (Hughes, R. K. Hebrews: An Anchor for the Soul. Volume 1.  Crossway Books; Volume 2 or Logos)

Torrey's Topic
Marriage

1. Divinely instituted. Ge 2:24.
2. A covenant relationship. Mal 2:4.

3. Designed for
a. The happiness of man. Ge 2:18.
b. Increasing the human population. Ge 1:28; 9:1.
c. Raising up godly seed. Mal 2:15.
d. Preventing fornication. 1Co 7:2.

4. The expectation of the promised seed of the woman an incentive to, in the early age. Ge 3:15; 4:1.
5. Lawful in all. 1Co 7:2,28; 1Ti 5:14.
6. Honourable for all. Heb 13:4.
7. Should be only in the Lord. 1Co 7:39.
8. Expressed by

a. Joining together. Mt 19:6.
b. Making affinity. 1Ki 3:1.
c. Taking to wife. Ex 2:1.
d. Giving daughters to sons, and sons to daughters. Deut 7:3; Ezr 9:12.

9. Indissoluble during the joint lives of the parties. Mt 19:6; Ro 7:2,3; 1Co 7:39.
10. Early introduction of polygamy. Ge 4:19.
11. Contracted in patriarchal age with near relations. Ge 20:12; 24:24; 28:2.
12. Often contracted by parents for children. Ge 24:49-51; 34:6,8.
13. Should be with consent of parents. Ge 28:8; Jdg14:2,3.
14. Consent of the parties necessary to. Ge 24:57,58; 1Sa 18:20; 25:41.
15. Parents might refuse to give their children in. Ex 22:17; Deut 7:3.

16. The Jews

a. Forbidden to contract, with their near relations. Le 18:6.
b. Forbidden to contract with idolaters. Deut 7:3,4; Jos 23:12; Ezr 9:11,12.
c. Often contracted with foreigners. 1Ki 11:1; Ne 13:23.
d. Sometimes guilty of polygamy. 1Ki 11:1,3.
e. Careful in contracting for their children. Ge 24:2,3; 28:1,2.
f. Betrothed themselves some time before. Deut 20:7; Jdg14:5,7,8; Mt 1:18.
g. Contracted when young. Pr 2:17; Joe 1:8.
h. Often contracted, in their own tribe. Ex 2:1; Nu 36:6-13; Lk 1:5,27.
i. Obliged to contract with a brother’s wife who died without seed. Deut 25:5; Mt 22:24.
j. Considered being debarred from, a reproach. Is 4:1.
k. Considered being debarred from, a cause of grief. Jdg11:38.
l. Often punished by being debarred from. Jer 7:34; 16:9; 25:10.
m. Were allowed divorce from, because of hardness of their hearts. Deut 24:1; Mt 19:7,8.
n. Exempted from going to war immediately after. Deut 20:7

17. Priest not to contract, with divorced or improper persons. Le 21:7.
18. The high priest not to contract, with a widow or a divorced or profane person. Le 21:14.
19. Contracted at the gate and before witnesses. Ru 4:1,10,11.
20. Modes of demanding women in. Ge 24:3,4; 34:6,8; 1Sa 25:39,40.
21. Elder daughters usually given in, before the younger. Ge 29:26.
22. A dowry given to the woman’s parents before. Ge 29:18; 34:12; 1Sa 18:27,28; Ho 3:2.
23. Celebrated

a. With great rejoicing. Jer 33:11; Jn 3:29.
b. With feasting. Ge 29:22; Jdg14:10; Mt 22:2,3; Jn 2:1-10.
c. For seven days. Jdg14:12.

24. A benediction pronounced after. Ge 24:60; Ru 4:11,12.
25. The bride

a. Received presents before. Ge 24:53.
b. Given a handmaid at. Ge 24:59; 29:24,29.
c. Adorned with jewels for. Is 49:18; 61:10.
d. Gorgeously apparelled. Ps 45:13,14.
e. Attended by bridesmaids. Ps 45:9.
f. Stood on the right of bridegroom. Ps 45:9.
g. Called to forget her father’s house. Ps 45:10.

26. The bridegroom

a. Adorned with ornaments. Is 61:10.
b. Attended by many friends. Jdg14:11; Jn 3:29.
c. Presented with gifts. Ps 45:12.
d. Crowned with garlands. Song 3:11.
e. Rejoiced over the bride. Is 62:5.
f. Returned with the bride to his house at night. Mt 25:1-6.

27. Garments provided for guests at. Mt 22:12.
28. Infidelity of those contracted in, punished as if married. Deut 22:23,24; Mt 1:19.
29. Illustrative of

a. God’s union with the Jewish nation. Is 54:5; Jer 3:14; Ho 2:19,20.
b. Christ’s union with his church. Eph 5:23,24,32.

Baker's Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology has the following entry for marriage...

Marriage - An intimate and complementing union between a man and a woman in which the two become one physically, in the whole of life. The purpose of marriage is to reflect the relationship of the Godhead and to serve him. Although the fall has marred the divine purpose and function of marriage, this definition reflects the God-ordained ideal for marriage from the beginning.

The Image of God. Genesis 1:26, 27 declares that mankind (adam) was created in God's image with a plural composition of male and female, each separately in God's image (cf. Ge 5:1, 2, 3; 9:6; 1 Cor 11:7; Col 3:10; James 3:9). Although the image of God is never defined in Scripture, contexts in which God's image are discussed must define the concept (cf. 2 Cor 3:18; and Col 3:10). God's image in Genesis 1 includes ruling, creativity (procreation), reasoning power, decision-making, and relationship.

The relational aspect of God's image is reflected in the bringing together of male and female in "one flesh" (Gen 1:27; 2:21, 22, 23, 24). This oneness with sexual differences portrays various aspects of God's image: same nature and essence, equal members, intimate relationship, common purpose, and distinct personalities with different roles, including authority and submission. In the Trinity the Father leads, the Son submits to the Father, and the Holy Spirit submits to both the Father and the Son. However, all three are fully and equally deity. Likewise, male and female in the marriage relationship are of the same nature and essence, equal as persons (cf. Gal 3:28), intimate in relationship, common in purpose, but distinct personalities with different roles: the husband leads and the wife submits to his leadership (cf. Eph 5:31). Marriage appears designed to reflect the same relational unity-in-plurality as the Godhead. Marriage, the most intimate human relationship, was appropriately chosen to reflect this relational aspect of the divine image. Each sex alone incompletely exhibits this part of the divine image. This open intimate relational aspect of God's image, reflected in marriage, was marred by the fall (cf. Gen 3:7, 10), causing each mate to hide (cover oneself) from each other and from God.

Marriage is the most basic and significant social relationship to humankind. This relationship must be nurtured and maintained for the welfare of all. Without marriage, society will fail.

God's design for marital relationship is heterosexual, not homosexual, and monogamous, not polygamous. This relational aspect of God's image in marriage has analogues portrayed in Yahweh's relation with Israel (Is 54:5; Jer 31:32; Ezek 16:8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14; Hosea 2:14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20) as well as in Christ's relation with the church (Eph 5:21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33; cf. 1Cor 11:1, 2, 3; 2 Cor 11:2; Rev 19:7, 8, 9). Israel is portrayed as Yahweh's wife (Is 54:5; Jer 31:32; Ezek 16:8-14; Hosea 2:14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20). Her idolatrous unfaithfulness and disobedience to Yahweh are frequently depicted as spiritual "adultery" (Num 25:1-4; Judges 2:17; Jer 3:20; Ezek 16:15-59; 23:1-48; Hosea 1:2; 2:2-13; 3:3) for which she was punished by captivity. Yahweh "divorced" his "unfaithful wife" (Is 50:1; Jer 3:8; Hosea 2:2), but ultimately will have compassion and delightfully restore her to faithfulness and holiness (Is 54; 62:4-5; Ezek 16:53-63; Hosea 2:14-3:1).

New Testament marriage imagery describes the relationship between Christ and his church (cf. 2 Cor 11:2; Eph 5:21-33; Rev 19:7, 8, 9). The church, Christ's bride, is sacrificially loved by Christ, just as a husband should love his wife (Eph 5:25,28, 29, 30,33). The husband's responsibility is leadership, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body (Eph 5:23). The wife responds submissively to her husband's sacrificial love like the church submits to Christ's (Eph 5:22,24,33). The husband's love assists her in becoming holy and blameless before God, even as Christ presents the church without blemish to the Father (Eph 5:26-28). Christ's relationship with the church becomes the functional model for a marriage relationship.

God commanded the male and female to perform two specific functions: procreation ("fruitful and multiply") and ruling over the earth ("subdue" and "rule") (Gen 1:28). These are functions that reflect God's image. Humankind (male and female) receive God-ordained authority to rule over the rest of creation, but not over each other.

Human reproduction comes through intimate sexual union designed only for the marriage relationship. Cohabitation abuses the procreative nature of the marriage relationship. While reproduction is a divine purpose of marriage, some couples are unable to have children for various physical reasons. This does not make their marriage second-rate or inferior. However, a married couple should desire to obey the divine injunction of procreation if possible. Children are one manifestation of the "one flesh" of marriage. The procreative injunction obviously precludes homosexual "marriages."

The Marriage Union as God's Work. God brings a man and a woman together in marriage (Matt 19:6; cf. Eve to Adam, Rebecca to Isaac ). It is not humankind's prerogative to separate what God has chosen to put together (Matt 19:6).

As creator of the marriage relationship, God becomes the essential supporting party to a marriage, giving wisdom, discretion, understanding, and love to protect the union and to enable it to honor God (Prov 2:6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16; 1 Cor 13:4, 5, 6, 7, 8). A marriage can glorify God and function properly only when both partners are believers in the Messiah, Jesus. Then the Holy Spirit guides and enables them in their roles and functions. Continued reliance upon God is imperative for believing spouses.

Marriage as God's Norm for Humankind. God made man a relational being in his own image. Therefore, there is the need for intimate relationship within humankind (Ge 2:18). Such a relationship is also necessary for the reproduction and multiplication of humankind. Without the fall, probably no one would have ever been single. Perfect people would have yielded perfect marriages. Sin brought flaws in humans that sometimes make it difficult to find or sustain a suitable marriage relationship. Being single for life is an exception and, therefore, is declared to be a gift from God (1 Cor 7:7). The single person is normally less encumbered in God's work. So, although marriage appears to be God's norm, singleness is neither more nor less spiritual than marriage (1 Cor 7:32, 33, 34, 35, 36).

The Nature of Marriage. Complementarity. The woman was created as "a helper suitable" for the man (ezer kenegdo) (Gen 2:18). The English "complement" best conveys the meaning of neged. A wife is a "helper" who "complements" her husband in every way. A helper always subordinates self-interests when helping another, just as Paul reminds us in Philippians 2:1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. A helping role is a worthy one, not implying inferiority. The wife, therefore, helps the husband to lead their family to serve and glorify God. The husband also complements his wife so that together they become a new balanced entity that God uses in an enhanced way.

A new permanent union (Gen 2:24). "Cleaving" in Genesis 2:24 pictures a strong bond between the members of this union. The marriage bond was to be permanent. Separation or termination of the marriage union was not an option before sin entered the world and death with it (Ge 3:1, 2, 3, 4, 5). All later revelation shows that separation/divorce was because of sin (Deut 24:1, 2, 3, 4; Ezra 9-10; Mal 2:14; Matt 5:31, 32; 19:1-12; Mark 10:1-12; Luke 16:18; 1 Cor 7:1-16, 39). God's ideal was for marriage to be permanent and exclusive.

One flesh (Gen 2:24). "One flesh" involves the unity of the whole person: purpose, physical, and life—a unity whereby the two become a new, God-designed, balanced life. They counterbalance each other's strengths and weaknesses. Sexually the two become "one flesh" physically as reflected in their offspring. God's ideal exclusiveness of the "one flesh" relationship disallows any other relationship: homosexuality, polygamy, adultery, premarital sex, concubinage, incest, bestiality, cultic prostitution. These and other sexual perversions violate the "oneness" of the marriage relationship and were often punishable by death (Lev 20:1-19; Deut 22:13-27; cf. Rom 1:26-32). Becoming "one flesh" is used in Scripture for the consummating sexual act of marriage.

These aspects of "one flesh" argue against premarital sex, promiscuity, and perversion of the sexual act. The body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19), so believers should be holy in their sexual conduct (Lev 19:2; 1 Thess 4:3, 4, 5, 6; 1 Peter 1:15, 16), keeping marriage pure.

Intimacy. Commitment to exclusive sexual intimacy is treated with dignity, considered honorable and undefiled (Heb 13:4). Mutual consent is required for any temporal abstinence from sexual relations (1 Cor 7:1, 2, 3, 4, 5). Neither spouse is to exploit the other sexually nor use sex to gratify passionate lust (1 Thess 4:3, 4, 5, 6, 7). One is to delight always in the wife of his youth (cf. Prov 5:15, 16, 17, 18, 19; Eccl 9:9). This intimate relationship is encouraged by God's portrayal of its beauty and dignity in the Song of Songs.

Covenant commitment. The covenant analogy attests the commitment between two married partners (Pr 2:17; Mal 2:14). Emphasis is upon an agreement, a commitment, not upon an analogy of conditionality and unconditionality of some biblical covenants that would extend the marriage covenant analogy beyond its expected scope. This marriage commitment, and faithfulness to it, preclude sexual relations with anyone except one's spouse (Ex 20:14; Lev. 18,20; Rom 1:24, 25, 26, 27). Although kings frequently employed marriages to seal foreign treaties in the ancient Near East, such commitments were spiritual as well as physical adultery.

Roles. Although male and female are equal in relationship to Christ, the Scriptures give specific roles to each in marriage. Paul, in continually emphasizing the terms "head" and "submit, " summarizes the basic role of husbands and wives respectively.

The husband is to assume headship/leadership (1 Cor 11:3; Eph 5:23). The normal meaning of biblical headship is leadership with authority, as exemplified in Christ (cf. 1 Cor 11:1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10; Eph 1:22; 4:15; 5:23). Headship is a benevolent responsibility without disdaining condescension and patronizing of the woman (cf. Matt 7:12; Luke 22:26; 1Peter 3:7). Although the husband leads as Christ leads the church, the husband does not have all the rights and authority of Christ. He leads his wife toward dependence upon Christ, not upon himself, for all human leaders are fallible. The husband leads like Christ, being considerate of his wife with respect and knowledge. He considers the ideas of those he leads, because they may be better than his own. Leadership's goal is not to show the leader's superiority, but to elicit all the strengths of people for the desired objective. Headship is not male domination, harshness, oppression, and reactionary negativism (cf. 2 Cor 1:24; Eph 5:29; Col 3:19), for "no one ever hated his own body."

Leadership assumes the responsibility to initiate and implement spiritual and moral planning for a family. Others, however, should also think, plan, initiate, and give input. The husband, however, must accept the burden of making the final choice in times of disagreement, although seldom should this be needed.

The husband's leadership and its authority is a God-given responsibility to be carried out in humility. Inappropriate use of leadership should be curbed by the unique intimacy and union implied in the phrases "one flesh, " "no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, " and "joint heirs of the grace of life" (Eph 5:29, 30, 31; 1 Peter 3:7).

The husband leads with an attitude of love. Christ's love for the church provides the model (Eph 5:25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31,32, 33; Col 3:19). The husband loves his wife as he would his own body (Eph 5:25), nourishing and cherishing her (v. 29). He gives himself sacrificially for her benefit as Christ sacrificially loved the church. Such love rules out treating his wife like a child or servant; rather he assists her to be a "fellow-heir."

Biblical love thinks first of the other person (cf. 1 Cor 13). It is a mental decision and commitment. God also gave emotions of love that should follow the mental act of love else the emotional aspect becomes infatuation or lust. Love protects, cares, trusts, and delights in the best for the other. The husband initiates love (Eph 5:25; 1 Peter 3:7). He who loves his wife surely loves himself.

The husband is to treat his wife with respect and considerateness (1 Peter 3:7). The husband bestows honor upon his wife. He always shows respect for her privately and in public.

The husband appropriately provides for and protects his wife. This does not mean that the wife cannot assist in supporting the family, for Proverbs 31 demonstrates that a godly wife may surely do so. The husband should always be willing to suffer for her safety.

The wife submits to her husband's headship (Eph 5:21, 22, 23, 24; Col 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1-6). Submission's basic meaning is "to submit or subordinate to a higher authority." It is a predisposition to yield to the husband's leadership and a willingness to follow his authority. The husband does not command the wife to do this. The verb implies that she does this voluntarily. Submission does not imply that the wife is inferior, less intelligent, or less competent. Christ submitted to the Father but was not inferior or less God than the Father (1 Cor 11:3; 15:28). Submission does not indicate that the wife puts her husband in the place of Christ. Christ is supreme in all things! The submissive wife does not give up independent thought. Believing wives with unbelieving husbands think independently, while still submitting to their husbands (1 Cor 7:13, 14). She might seek to influence her husband for right and to guide him in righteousness (1 Peter 3:1-2). Submission never signifies that a wife gives in to her husband's every demand. If demands are unrighteous, she submits to her higher authority, Jesus.

A wife submits to her own husband. Relationships with other men are different in areas of submission and leadership.

Some feel that Ephesians 5:21 argues that the husband and wife are equally submissive. In its context the best understanding sees this verse as an introduction to three particular areas where people are submissive to one another: wives to husbands (Eph 5:22-33); children to parents (Ep 6:1, 2, 3, 4); and servants to masters (Ep 6:5, 6, 7, 8, 9). Mutual submissiveness does not fit the latter two categories.

A wife should submit with an attitude of honor, reverence, and respect (Psalm 45:11; Eph 5:33). A wife affirms and nurtures her husband's leadership. She submits in the same manner that she and the church submit to Christ (1 Peter 3:6). This analogy provides a good gauge. The wife demonstrates a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4), not demanding her own way or insisting on her rights. A wife's respect is primarily for the role of leadership that her husband occupies, not necessarily for his merits, though that would be the ideal. She recognizes the God-given leadership with regard and deference.

Effect of the Fall on Marriage. The fall made human hearts hard toward God and toward each other. The relational aspect of God's image became marred. Rebellion against submission to male leadership was Satan's initial temptation (Gen 3:1-6, 17; contra. Eph 5:33; 1 Peter 3:1). Male domination and harshness crept into leadership (cf. Col 3:19; 1 Peter 3:7). Sin caused polygamy, concubinage, incest, adultery, rape, prostitution, and all kinds of immorality (cf. Lev. 18, 20; Rom 1:26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32) to damage or destroy the marriage relationship. Marriage commitments are violated. Divorce, premarital sex, and couples living together out of wedlock would never have occurred had not sin entered the world. The fall severely damaged the marriage relationship.

For marriage to function now according to God's ideal, believers in Christ need to marry only believers. Whenever God directly brought a man and woman together in marriage, both were believers. Although pagan customs encouraged marriage with anyone (cf. Gen 16), Israel was given explicit commands not to marry foreigners who would lead them to worship foreign deities (Deut 7:1, 2, 3, 4; 13:6-11; 17:1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7; 20:17; 23:2). New Testament believers are also not to be "unequally yoked" with unbelievers (2Cor 6:14), meaning any action causing the union of believer with nonbeliever, or non-believing ways, must be avoided. - Ralph H. Alexander (Baker's Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology)

AND THE MARRIAGE BED BE UNDEFILED : kai e koite amianto: (Heb 12:16; 1Co 6:9; Ga 5:19,21; Ep 5:5; Col 3:5,6; Re 22:15 )

Marriage bed...be - The word "marriage" is added but literally it simply reads "bed". Similarly the verb "be" is not present in the Greek but added to give flow to the sentence.

Bed (2845) (koite) refers to a place or structure on which one can lie down and in this context is a figurative way to refer to the sexual relationship between a husband and his wife.

Undefiled (283) (amiantos from a = negates what follows + miaino = to defile by staining, as with color) means without contamination, unpolluted, untainted, unstained (stainless), unsoiled, without uncleanness or impurity. The idea is free from that by which the nature of a thing is deformed or debased, or its force or vigor is impaired.  In secular Greek writings amiantos was used to describe things such as unstained hands, heart, flesh or body. Aeschylus calls the sea simply "the undefiled".

“it is a remarkable testimony to the reign of sin, and therefore of imperfection, of decay, of death throughout this whole fallen world, that as often as we desire to set forth the glory, purity, and perfection of that other, higher world toward which we strive, we are almost inevitably compelled to do this by the aid of negatives; by the denying to that higher order of things the leading features and characteristics of this.” (see Re 21:1-note  Re 22:3-note)

To keep the marriage bed undefiled was a radical concept in the first century Greco-Roman world, and thus believers  early proved themselves

to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world" (Php 2:15, Mt 5:16)

Kent Hughes comments that...

Christian sexual morality was unique in the pagan world and a source of wonder. And it has become increasingly so today in a world that considers adultery irrelevant, purity abnormal, and sex a “right” (however and with whomever one may get it) and that has invented the egregious term “recreational sex.” We Christians are called to be outrageously pure—to be a source of wonder and even derision to this glandular world. From the beginning to the end of Hebrews, the abiding concern of the author has been to so instruct the tiny Hebrew church that it would stay afloat on the increasingly hostile seas of first-century Roman culture. Their ship was a microscopic dot on the massive billows of the official pagan/secular enterprise—and eminently vulnerable. It appeared to outside eyes that the external forces could sink it at will. But the author knew that the internal threat to the church was far more deadly. In fact, he knew that it could ride out any storm if things were right on the inside. He knows that nothing will sink a church faster than moral wavering in respect to sex, materialism, or mental outlook. Here is intimate advice regarding how to keep our ship afloat. It is so essential that any church that ignores it will founder and possibly even sink. (Ibid)

David Guzik writes feels that...

Perhaps through a past of sexual sin, many people have a difficult time really believing that the marriage bed is undefiled. Guilt and sexual hang-ups are appropriate to extra-marital sex, but not in marital sex. But this is where the guilt and sexual hang-ups often exist, and where they most frequently cause trouble.

The enemy of our souls wants to do everything he can to encourage sex outside of the marriage bed, and he wants to do everything he can to discourage sex inside the marriage bed. We need to recognize this strategy and not give it a foothold among us.

Though God allows real freedom in the variety of sexual expression in marriage, all must be done with a concern for the other's needs and in love (1 Corinthians 7:1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and Ephesians 5:21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33). (Commentary)

FOR FORNICATORS AND ADULTERERS GOD WILL JUDGE: pornous gar kai moichous krinei (3SFAI) o theos: (1Co 6:9 Ga 5:19,21 Ep 5:5) (Ps 50:16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22; Malachi 3:5; 1Co 5:13; 2Co 5:10)

Bruce writes that...

Fornication and adultery are not synonymous in the New Testament: adultery implies unfaithfulness by either party to the marriage vow, while the word translated "fornication" covers a wide range of sexual irregularities.

Spurgeon writes...

And terrible will be their doom when God does judge them. They may think that, because they sin in secret, therefore they shall escape punishment; but it shall not be so. Whether men judge them or not, God will judge them.

As Ray Stedman reminds us...

Nonconformity to the world must certainly involve these areas. The loose sexual standards of our generation and the intense materialistic spirit of this age constitute a constant peril to our hearts, and we must beware of them. We must realize that God has undertaken to sustain the sacredness of marriage and that He unceasingly, unrelentingly judges violations of it. Therefore, we dare not heed the fine sounding declarations being made today about a "new morality," as though we had passed beyond the ancient standards and they no longer had significance.

As this writer reminds us, God judges the immoral and adulterous. He does not mean that God looses lightning bolts from heaven against them, or that he causes terrible diseases to come upon them; these are not the forms of judgment. But we can see the judgment of God in the terrible tempest of mental pressures and crackups which sweep like a plague across this land. They are due to the breakdown of moral standards. The certain deterioration of life is the judgment of God when sex standards are violated. It is the brutalization of humanity, so men become like animals and live on the level of animals. This is so apparent in our day. (Hebrews 13:1-6: THE INTENDED LIFE)

Those who have taken up adulterous lifestyles (emphasis on lifestyle) and remain unrepentant (emphasis on no repentance - cp Mt 3:8, 4:17,11:20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 12:41,  Mark 1:15, 6:12, Lk 3:3, 8, 5:32, rich man in Sheol = Lk 16:29, 30, 31, Lk 24:47, Acts 3:19, 11:18, 13:24, 17:30, 19:4, Acts 20:21 Acts 26:20 Ro 2:4 2 Cor 7:9
2 Cor 7:10 2 Cor 12:21 2Pet 3:9 Re 2:21, 22, Re 9:20, "of their immorality" = Re 9:21, Rev 16:9, 16:11) will suffer ultimate judgment and eternal separation from God, for despite their insistence that they are “Christians,” they are self-deceived (cp 1Co 6:9, 10, 1Co 15:33, Ga 6:7, Ep 5:5, 6, 7, Titus 3:3, 1Jn 3:7).

God’s Word is clear that all who live a life (habitually) of adultery or fornication and are unrepentant are under God’s wrath and ultimate judgment regardless of what they assert about their salvation experience.

God's judgment on sexual immorality in marriage is not just future but is also seen in the present. Physical disease is an ever present treat (herpes, Chlamydia, AIDS). In addition their is mental anguish with guilt, self-hatred and ego disintegration. Couples become alienated, estranged, hateful and occasionally even commit murder. And then there is the toll on society with the problem of a plethora of illegitimate children without fathers and the plight of abortion. Unrepentant adultery and sexual immorality will not go unpunished as all these various aspects of present judgment attest. In addition a terrible judgment awaits for all unrepentant sinners will stand before God, who is a “consuming fire” (cf. Heb 12:29; 10:27,31).

Kent Hughes writes that...

I will never forget a young coed who came to my office, obviously shaken. She said she was a new Christian and that soon after her conversion she started attending a church youth group. The president of the group asked her for a date, and she was flattered and thrilled to be going out with a Christian. “How different it will be from what I’m used to,” she thought. But before the night was over, he had destroyed her purity, shattered her faith, and ruined his own testimony. The last I heard from the girl her life was still a shambles."

Within marriage, sex is beautiful, fulfilling, creative but outside of marriage, sex is evil, ugly (contrary to the "Hollywood commentaries"), destructive, and potentially damning (see Jesus' strong words in Mt 5:27, 28, 29, 30).

The pithy nineteenth century bishop J C Ryle wrote that...

The violation of the seventh commandment is the sin above all others, that, as Hosea says, "takes away the understanding" (Ho 4:11). It is the sin that leaves deeper scars upon the soul than any other sin that a man can commit. It is a sin that destroys thousands of young men in every age, and has even overthrown a few of the saints of God in the past. Samson and David are fearful proofs. It is the sin that man dares to smile at, and smooths over using the terms:thrills, love, uncontrollable passions, and natural desires. But it is the sin that the devil rejoices over, for he is the "unclean spirit;" and it is the sin that God abhors, and declares He "will judge" (Heb 13:4). Young men, "Flee from sexual immorality" (1Co 6:18) if you love life. "Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient" (Ep 5:6). Flee from the opportunity of it--from the company of those who might draw you into it--from the places where you might be tempted to do it. Read what our Lord says about it in (Mt 5:28). Be like the holy servant Job: (Job 31:1). Flee from talking about it. It is one of the things that ought not even be hinted about in conversation. You cannot even touch black grease without getting your hands dirty. Flee from the thoughts of it; resist them, destroy them, pray against them--make any sacrifice rather than give way to them. Imagination is the hotbed where this sin is too often hatched. Guard your thoughts, and there will be little fear about your actions.

Pastor Steven Cole introduced his sermon on 1Peter 4 with the following statistics...

Pastor Steven Cole (all of his messages are highly recommended - see all his sermons by book - Pdf and some audio) has the following excellent message on...

Hebrews 13:4
The Right and Wrong Place for Sex

Perhaps you’re wondering why I would spend an entire message on a single verse that is fairly easy to understand, a verse that most churchgoers would agree with. Let me explain.

Over the past 40 years, our culture has taken a U-turn away from the Christian view of marriage and sexual morality that was prevalent before that time. While divorce and sexual immorality are not new, they used to be frowned upon and marital faithfulness was viewed as desirable. But beginning in the 1960’s, our culture threw off Christian standards and openly embraced “free” sex and easy divorce. Openness toward homosexuality began to make in-roads, so that now it is widely promoted as a way of life that should not only not be condemned, but be accepted as normal.

It would be naïve to think that the church is insulated from these powerful cultural trends. Frances Schaeffer observed,

People drift along from generation to generation, and the morally unthinkable becomes thinkable as the years move on (cited by Erwin Lutzer, The Truth About Same-Sex Marriage [Moody Press], p. 57).

It is a commonly known fact that the divorce rate among evangelical Christians is no different than that of our culture at large.

Also, evangelicals are not doing well in the area of sexual purity. Leadership ([Winter, 1988], pp. 12-13, 24), a journal for pastors, commissioned a poll to determine how common is pastoral indiscretion. They found that since entering local church ministry, 23 percent of pastors had done something with someone other than their spouse that they considered sexually inappropriate. Twelve percent admitted to having extra-marital intercourse. Among those who were not pastors, the figures doubled! Also, 20 percent of pastors admitted to looking at sexually oriented media at least once a month, and that was before the internet! I assume that the numbers have not gotten better in the ensuing years.

Because of the importance of godly marriages as the foundation of our church and society, our text is extremely important. The connection with the preceding context is that love of the brethren (Heb 13:1-note) must start in the home, between Christian couples. To practice biblical love, husbands and wives must guard themselves against sexual infidelity. To restrict sex to marriage was a novel idea to many in the first century. Men often had mistresses or could go to temple prostitutes. To call people to lifelong fidelity to a single spouse was radically counter-cultural. It has become so again in our culture. We have an opportunity, through moral purity and godly marriages, to shine in the darkness around us for Jesus Christ (cp Mt 5:16-note, Phil 2:15-note). We can sum up our text:

Since God ordained marriage and sex within marriage, He will judge those who practice sex outside of marriage.

Before we look at the verse, note that Satan tries to get us to go to extremes on one side or the other. If he can’t get us to move towards sexual promiscuity, he tempts us with asceticism. Asceticism is the idea that you attain godliness by denying yourself certain things that are not prohibited in Scripture, whether food, certain comforts, or sexual pleasure in marriage. The apostle Paul strongly condemns asceticism in Colossians 2:16-note, Col 2:17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 (see notes Col 2:17; 18; 19; 20; 21; 22) where he concludes (Col 2:23-note), “These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence.” In 1 Timothy 4:3, he warns against “men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth.” So we need the balance of Scripture to avoid extremes.

1. Marriage, including the sexual relationship in marriage, is to be held in honor among all.

The word honor means precious or valuable. Paul uses it of “precious stones” (1Co 3:12). Peter uses the word to describe the “precious blood” of Christ (1Pe 1:19-note) and God’s “precious and magnificent promises” (2Pe 1:4-note). “Marriage bed” is a euphemism for sex in marriage.

A. We should honor marriage because God ordained it at creation.

Marriage is honorable or precious because God instituted it in the Garden, before sin entered this world. Before that, He concluded that it was not good for man to be alone (Ge 2:18), and so He created Eve for Adam. Since marriage comes from God and was begun with the first man and woman, it should be held in honor among all. Note further:

(1) All three persons of the Trinity honor marriage.

God the Father honored marriage by instituting it in the Gar-den. God the Son honored marriage by performing His first miracle at the wedding in Cana of Galilee (John 2:1-11). He also con-fronted the loose divorce practices that had evolved in Jewish society and reaffirmed God’s original intent in marriage (Mt 19:1-9). God the Holy Spirit honored marriage by inspiring the apostle Paul to write that marriage is an earthly picture of Christ and His church (Eph 5:25-33 -note; see also Rev 21:9-note).

(2) Honorable marriage as ordained by God is a covenant between a man and a woman for life.

God created one woman for Adam, not many women and not a man! While God tolerated polygamy in the Old Testament, you can-not find a single example of a harmonious polygamous marriage. It always created problems. Also, while God tolerates divorce under certain conditions, it always reflects the hardness of the human heart (Mt 19:8) and God states plainly that He hates it (Mal 2:16). As for the idea of homosexual “marriage,” there is no biblical basis for it, in spite of the attempts of some to justify it. Homosexuality is uniformly condemned in the Bible as sin (Lev 18:22; Ro 1:26-note; Ro 1:27-note; 1Co 6:9; 1Ti 1:10).

It is important to affirm that biblical marriage is a lifelong covenant relationship (Mal. 2:14). The sexual union is to be restricted within the bounds of that covenant relationship. To engage in sex outside of marriage is sin.

I want to mention several ways that we dishonor marriage and then some ways that we can honor marriage.

B. We dishonor marriage…

(1) By viewing celibacy as more spiritual.

Paul makes it clear that celibacy is a special gift from God that enables a person to remain single and control sexual desires so that he or she has more time to be devoted to the Lord. But he readily acknowledges that not all have this gift (1Cor 7:1, 2, 8, 9, 32, 33, 34, 35). As we’ve already seen, he specifically condemns those who forbid marriage (1Ti 4:3).

But in spite of Paul’s warning against those who forbid marriage, the early church developed the view that it is more spiritual to be celibate. Origen, an early church father, had himself castrated so that he could be free of sexual temptation. Augustine, who had a concubine and a son with her, thought that he had to give her up and devote himself to celibacy to follow Christ. I think it’s sad that he did not marry her. He viewed sex in marriage as a necessary evil to procreate children, but not as God’s gift to be enjoyed. The Roman Catholic requirement that priests be celibate furthers the view that celibacy is more spiritual. Martin Luther broke with that unbiblical view when he married a former nun and extolled the blessings of marital love.

(2) By saying that homosexual “marriage” is valid.

I’ve already commented on this, but let me add that we do not hate homosexuals by proclaiming God’s holy standards. Sin of any kind always damages those who engage in it. If I saw someone blindly running toward a cliff, the loving thing to do is to yell, “Stop!” We do not love people if we do not warn about the dangers of all sexual sin. Paul wrote (1Co 6:18),

“Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.”

We dishonor God’s institution of marriage and we do not practice biblical love if we do not proclaim His standards of sexual purity.

(3) By following our culture’s no-fault divorce practices.

I realize that many Christians have been divorced, and that if you could, you would turn back the clock and do many things differently. I do not want to add to your grief and pain. But I must set the biblical standard back where it belongs. As God’s people, we must reverse the trend of the past 40 years. People should be able to look at Christian marriages and marvel that we have stayed together and worked through difficulties because of the covenant that we entered into before God. (see Covenant: As It Relates to Marriage)

(4) By marrying an unbeliever.

Many Christians do not even consider it a sin to marry an unbeliever, and yet God calls it an abomination (Malachi 2:11). Paul makes it clear that we are not to be bound together with unbelievers and that we are only free to marry in the Lord (2Co 6:14; 1Co 7:39). Since marriage is to be a picture of Christ and the church, it destroys that picture to enter into marriage with an unbeliever.

I’ve had professing Christian young women tell me that they’ve prayed about marrying an unbeliever, and “feel a peace” about doing so. But it is never peace from God, because He does not give His peace when we sin. You and your children will suffer the consequences if you enter into such a marriage.

If you are already married to an unbeliever, Paul instructs you to remain in that marriage, if possible (1Co 7:12, 13, 14, 15, 16). Perhaps God will be gracious in converting your mate. But stories of how God worked to convert an unbelieving mate never justify sinning by entering such a mixed marriage in the first place (Ro 6:1, 2).

(5) By having sexual relations outside of the marriage covenant.

This is the main point of our text. Note that the two parts of the second half of the verse correspond to the two parts of the first half of the verse.

“Fornicators” (single people who have sex) dishonor the institution of marriage.

“Adulterers” (married people who have sex with someone other than their spouse) defile the marriage bed. (For some strange reason, the NIV reverses the commands at the end of the verse and adds the word “all” before “sexually immoral.” This confuses the symmetrical structure of the verse.) The Greek text omits the verb, which must be supplied from the context. Some versions take it as indicative (“Marriage is honorable…”). But in light of the commands in the context, it should probably be understood as exhortation, as in the NASB.

We’ve seen that we should honor marriage because God ordained it at creation. We dishonor marriage by saying that celibacy is more spiritual; by saying that homosexual “marriage” is valid; by following our culture’s no-fault divorce practices; by marrying an unbeliever; and, by having sexual relations outside of marriage.

C. We honor marriage:

Here, we could go through the same list as in the previous point and state the opposite. We honor and affirm marriage by viewing it as just as spiritually fulfilling as celibacy, depending on one’s spiritual gift. We honor it by holding firmly to heterosexual marriage as God’s only option. We honor it by staying committed to our mate and working through difficulties, rather than bailing out. We honor marriage by entering into it only with a committed believer, so that we can raise our children in the Lord. And, we honor marriage by abstaining from sexual immorality. But I want to focus on two things:

(1) By guarding ourselves from sexual sin.

No Christian deliberately jumps into sexual sin, but as Leadership ([ibid., p. 12) reported (in 1988), among subscribers of Christianity Today magazine who are not pastors, “45 percent indicated having done something they considered sexually inappropriate, 23 percent said they had had extramarital intercourse, and 28 percent said they had engaged in other forms of extramarital sexual con-tact.” Clearly, this is a major area where Satan hits believers! It is not enough to sit here and agree with God’s standards for sexual purity. We must have a strategy to guard ourselves from falling (cp 1Pe 2:11-note).

The major element in this strategy is to maintain a close daily walk with Christ and a close relationship with your mate. If we drift from the Lord and are not spending consistent time in the Word and prayer, we become vulnerable to temptation. If we grow distant from our mate, we are more open to temptation. In the Leadership survey, 78 percent of the pastors who failed morally said that the main factor was physical and emotional attraction. Forty-one per-cent listed marital dissatisfaction.

As I’ve repeatedly emphasized, all sin begins in the mind. This means that to guard ourselves from sexual sin, we must judge it and turn from it the moment it enters our minds. Jesus made this point graphically when He said (Matt. 5:27, 28-notes, Mt 5:29, 30-note):

You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.

Jesus did not mean literally to maim yourself, but He did mean to underscore the serious nature of mental lust. If you do not cut it off, Jesus says that you’re going to hell! To obey Jesus’ words, you need to avoid watching TV programs, movies, or videos that tempt you to lust. Devise ways to block pornography from the internet. Be accountable to another brother in Christ.

Also, to guard yourself from sexual sin, memorize Scripture, which transforms your mind. Psalm 119:9, 11 states, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word…. Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You.”

Another piece of the strategy is to put a fence around your marriage. If you go to the Grand Canyon and don’t want to fall over the edge, either stay behind the railing or don’t go near an edge where there is no railing. Putting a fence around your marriage means that you do not enter into a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex. These relationships often start innocently enough. “We are able to talk as brother and sister.” Beware! If you find yourself as a married person attracted to a member of the opposite sex, cut off any contact and avoid any situation that could lead to temptation. Don’t go near the edge!

Let me add one other way to honor marriage that is implied by our text:

(2) By enjoying the totality of the marriage relationship, including the physical relationship.

“Marriage bed” refers to sex in marriage, and it is not dirty.

D. H. Field writes (The New Dictionary of Theology [IVP], ed. by Sinclair Ferguson, David Wright, and J. I. Packer, p. 638),

“The history of the church betrays a far less positive attitude to sexuality than the Bible’s.”

He goes on to talk about the early influence of ascetic idealism. Then he says,

“With very few exceptions, patristic and medieval writers condemned the sensual pleasure of intercourse as sinful. Their attitude to marriage, too, was at best ambivalent.”

But the Bible affirms the pleasure of the sexual relationship in marriage, both for men and women. Solomon instructs his son to let his wife’s breasts satisfy him at all times, and to be exhilarated with her love (Pr 5:19). The Song of Solomon extols the joys of sex in marriage for both partners. Paul tells both husbands and wives that they do not have authority over their own bodies, but their spouse does, and that they have a responsibility to meet the sexual needs of their mate as a preventative to immorality (1Co 7:2, 3, 4, 5). Sarah refers to sexual relations with her husband as having pleasure with him (Ge 18:12).

Sex in marriage is directly related to the interpersonal relationship. God designed it that way. There must be mutual sensitivity, caring, and respect in the relationship between husband and wife as the foundation for the enjoyment of the sexual aspect. But I am emphasizing what Paul states, that it is a God-given preventative against sexual sin (1Cor 7:2).

I once counseled a couple where the husband had fallen into adultery. He and his wife had not had sexual relations in over ten years and she assumed that everything was just fine! He was really angry about this, but he hadn’t said anything. When a neighbor woman became friendly, he fell. Sadly, the couple eventually divorced. It all could have been avoided if they had followed the clear teaching of Scripture:

“Stop depriving one another” (1Co 7:5)

Our text issues a strong warning:

2. God will judge those who practice sexual immorality. Many Scriptures hammer home this warning:

1 Cor. 6:9, 10: Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

Eph. 5:5, 6: For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. (see notes Ephesians 5:5; 5:6)

Rev 21:8: But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.

Many other Scriptures give the same warning (Mt 5:27, 28, 29, 30-see notes; Gal. 5:19, 20, 21-notes; Col. 3:5-note; 1Th 4:4-note, 1Th 4:6, 7-note; Re 22:15-note). While believers do not need to fear God’s eternal judgment, Scripture is clear that if you habitually practice sexual immorality, you may not be a genuine Christian (1John 3:7, 8, 9, 10 - note that the verbs for "practice" and "sin" are present tense  = habitual action). If you are a genuine Christian, God will discipline you severely if you engage in sexual sin (Heb 12:5-note, Heb 12:6, 7, 8, 9, 10, Heb 12:11-note).

While He forgives us when we repent, He does not necessarily remove the consequences of our sin (see the life of David, 2 Sa 12:10, 11, 12, 13, 14). He may forgive your sin, but you contracted a sexual disease that could be untreatable or fatal.

Some will protest, “But we’re under grace!” But the book that was written to explain God’s grace also warns (Gal 6:7, 8),

“Do not be deceived (present imperative + a negative = stop an action already in process), God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”

But I want to end with this good news:

3. God will forgive those who repent of their sin and trust in the blood of Christ.

Immediately following Paul’s warning against God’s judgment on sexual immorality, he adds these wonderful words,

“And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God” (1Co 6:11).

Neither homosexuality, adultery, nor any kind of sexual perversion are beyond God’s forgiveness. First John 1:9 graciously promises,

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Paul calls himself the chief of sinners, and yet he found mercy at the cross (1Ti 1:15, 16). You can experience God’s forgiveness and gift of eternal life if you will turn from your sin and trust in Jesus Christ.

Conclusion

The late comedian, George Burns, used to say that he could remember the time when the air was clean and sex was dirty. Biblically speaking, sex has never been dirty in the context that God ordained for it: in lifelong covenant marriage between a man and a woman. That’s the right place for sex. The wrong place is outside of such covenant marriage, where it incurs God’s judgment.

If God’s Word is true, our culture is in moral darkness. But when the darkness is greatest, the light shines the brightest. If we will maintain God’s standards of moral purity, He will use us to shine in this dark world with the good news of God’s forgiveness and with the news that sex is clean in God-ordained marriages.

Discussion Questions
How can we demonstrate God’s love for homosexuals and yet His wrath against their sin? Do you start with love or wrath?

What are some other ways (than those in the message) that Christians can plan not to fall into sexual sin?

Can a true believer be “addicted” (enslaved is the biblical word) to sexual sin? (Matt. 5:27, 28, 29, 30; Ro 6:17, 18; 1John 3:7, 8, 9, 10.)

How would you counsel a single person who wants to be married, but cannot find a suitable mate? (Hebrews 13:4 The Right and Wrong Place for Sex)

Torrey's Topic on Marriage