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Proverbs 6:20 My son, observe the commandment of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother; (Pr 1:8,9; 7:1, 2, 3, 4; 23:22; 30:11; Deut 21:18; 27:16; Ep 6:1)

My son - see Pr 1:8, 9. Here Solomon is giving his son that "man to man" talk we all dreaded as young men. Oh, how we "dirty old men" need to hear and re-hear the wise words of counsel in this present evil age modern era, for we live in a time like no other in the way our eyes are bombarded with "bait" of beautiful women which can act like a "lure" tempting us (James 1:14) to secret sins (cp Nu 32:23) in our thought life (2Co 10:4, 5, Php 4:8. We need to hear what King Solomon says to his son.

It is noteworthy that in Proverbs 5-7, each of the warnings against sexual misconduct is prefaced by an admonition to pay attention to the Word of God (Pr 5:1, 2; 7, 8, Pr 6:20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25; Pr 7:1, 2, 3, 4, 5, cp Jesus' words Mt 4:4). The Truth of God's Word heard and heeded (James 1:22, 25) keeps us from believing the lies of the world, the flesh and the devil (Jn 8:44, 2Co 11:3, Rev 12:9) that the "grass is always greener" on the other side of the fence. Remember "lust" begins with thoughts (and images that convey thoughts) and the best defense is a good offense, taking in Truth to counter and expose the Lie (Jn 8:31, 32, 36, 17:17).

It makes me think of the shield the Word provides, Solomon writing that...

Every word of God is tested; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him. (Pr 30:5, cp Ps 119:9, 11)

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MOTHER'S LAW -As I read Proverbs 6:20, which refers to "the law of your mother," I recall some of my mother's unique "laws" that have helped me many times.

The first I call "the law of the warm kitchen." When we got home from school on a cold winter's day or when the holidays rolled around, the kitchen was always so warm from baking and cooking that the windows were steamed. It was also warm with a mother's love.

A second law I call "the law of a mother's perspective." When I would come to her all upset over some childish matter, she would often say, "Pay no attention." Or, "Ten years from now you'll have forgotten all about it." That helped me put things into perspective.

But above all was my mother's "law of faith." She had an unswerving trust in God that kept her strong and gentle amid fears, pressures, and sacrifices of the war years and of the 1950s.

Mom's been with the Lord now for many years. Yet I'm still grateful for her "laws," because they have helped me through many difficult days.

Christian mother, you too are writing "laws" for your children.  Are they worth remembering? - D C Egner Our Daily Bread, Copyright RBC Ministries, Grand Rapids, MI. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved)

I love you, Mother, for your quiet grace,
For that dear smile upon your kindly face,
For marks of toil upon each loving hand
That worked for me ere I could understand. - Simpson

No man is poor who has a godly mother. - Abraham Lincoln

Proverbs 6:21 Bind them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck (Pr 3:3; 4:6,21; 7:3,4; Ex 13:16; Deut 6:8; 2Co 3:3)

Bind them continually on your heart - The heart is the "control center" of our being and is in continual need to nourishment by the Word of God (cp also the need for continual watching Pr 4:23).

The command to bind God's Word to various parts of the body (Pr 3:3; 6:21; 7:3; Deut 6:8, 9) was taken literally by the Pharisees and gave rise to the so-called "phylactery" (Mt 23:5), a small leather case containing four portions of the Old Testament (Ex. 13:1-10, 11-16, and Deut. 6:4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 9, 11:13-21) written on parchment. When attending public prayers, the orthodox Jew tied one phylactery to his forehead and the other to his left arm. They also put a phylactery at the door of their house. "Phylactery" is a word that comes from the Greek and means "to watch over, to safeguard." It was their belief that wearing God's Word like an amulet would protect them from evil. This practice is not what Solomon means by binding them on one's heart. The picture is that of "fastening" God's Word to our heart, something that can only be done figuratively as when one reads, heeds, memorizes and meditates on God's Word of Truth and Life. In so doing, the student "binds" the Word to his or her heart.

I like what John Piper says in his practical message on Thy Word I Have Treasured in my Heart...

I believe that the Bible teaches us to memorize scripture the way an ant gathers food in summer: because it is so valuable and will be needed in the winter months. “[The ant] prepares her food in the summer, and gathers her provision in the harvest” (Proverbs 6:8). Memorizing scripture is not a discipline for its own sake. It is because the scriptures are a treasure and will be needed before the day is done to help you escape a sinful attitude and live a life that glorifies God (cp Ps 119:9,11). (Dr Piper's message is highly recommended - I would encourage you if you have time to listen to the audio Mp3 version as it is even better than the transcript - Transcript = Thy Word I Have Treasured in my Heart; or the Mp3 Audio Version)

Bind (07194) (qashar) basically means to fasten or tie something to something else usually by means of a cord, rope, string, thread, etc. We see the meaning illustrated in Ge 38:28 where Zerah’s hand was marked by tying with a scarlet thread. Rahab was instructed to tie a scarlet thread to her window to mark it (Josh 2:18). God instructed Israel to bind his laws (words) to their foreheads and hands (Deut 6:8). Thus, their thoughts and actions were to be governed by his word. In the present context the binding is figurative but is no less real, for the point is that these commandments and teachings are to be so intrinsically a part of who we are that they control what we think, say and do (out of your mouth comes that which fills the heart!). We "bind" them by reading them, memorizing them, meditating upon them and obeying them.

Wiersbe has an interesting explanation of tie them around your neck writing that...

God's truth should also control the neck, because a man might be tempted to turn his head and look at a beautiful woman for the purpose of lusting (Mt 5:27, 28, 29, 30). He may not be able to avoid seeing the woman the first time, but it's looking the second time that gets him into trouble.

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Proverbs 6:22 When you walk about, they will guide you; When you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk to you. (Pr 2:11; 3:23,24; Ps 17:4; 43:3; 119:9,11,24,54,97,148; Da 11:18, 19, 20, 21)

Proverbs 6:23 For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light; And reproofs for discipline are the way of life (Commandment - Ps 119:98, 99, 100, Is 8:20; 2Pe 1:19) (Re 2:5) (Reproofs - Pr 5:12; 15:31; 29:15; Lev 19:17; Ps 141:5, Heb 12:5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) (Pr 3:18; 4:4,13; 15:24; Je 21:8)

Psalms 19:8 The precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes.

Ps 119:105  Thy word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.

Psalms 119:130 The unfolding of Thy words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple.

2 Peter 1:19 (note) And so we have the prophetic word made more sure, to which you do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star arises in your hearts.

In his excellent book (which I highly recommend) My Heart for Thy Cause, written especially to pastors, Brian Borgman writes these words regarding guarding against sexual impurity...

as a preventive discipline, the man of God should load his conscience with the warnings of Scripture and the issues at stake. Owen also gives this advice, when he says, 'Load thy conscience with the guilt of it.'  First, there is the holy Law of God. The seventh commandment forbids adultery (Ex 20:14). It is such a heinous sin that God continually illustrates spiritual apostasy in terms of adultery.

Next, bring the nature of the sin into the light of the gospel, thinking deeply upon the abundant mercy and grace God has shown in the gospel. Meditate upon His love and faithfulness. Ponder afresh the greatness of forgiveness and salvation. Owen's words are priceless, 'If this make it not sink in some measure and melt (i.e., bringing the lust to the gospel mercy of God) I fear thy case is dangerous.' Consider the threats against adulterers (1Co 6:9, 10; Gal. 5:19, 20, 21; Ep 5:3, 4, 5). Consider the danger of tasting that forbidden fruit and then being enslaved and hardened, entering the road to apostasy (Heb 3:12, 13, 14). Meditate upon the terrifying words, 'Depart from me you worker of iniquity!' Cling to God's promises to supply His people with grace to fight the good fight. The author heartily recommends John Piper's Future Grace (Sister, OR: Multnomah, 1995) especially chapter 27 on lust (Multnomah, 1995).

Not only does the conscience need to be loaded with the warnings and promises of Scripture, but it also needs to be loaded with the issues at stake. Randy Alcorn gives a number of consequences to sexual impurity: (This list is an edited compilation of a seminary chapel session given by Randy Alcorn at Western Conservative Baptist Seminary in Portland, Or)

Grieving the Lord who redeemed us, thus displeasing the One whose opinion matters most.

Dragging Christ's precious name in the mud, giving the enemies of God an occasion to blaspheme.

Having to face the Lord Jesus at His judgment seat, being accountable for the sin and its consequences.

Experiencing severe Divine discipline.

Adding my name to the list of disgraced leaders, held in contempt by the church and world.

Causing untold suffering to those around me, in the congregation and others, much like Achan.

Loss of respect from my precious wife.

Loss of trust from my life partner.

Untold hurt to my precious children.

Betrayal of my office, and total loss of credibility in ministry, nullifying all labor.

Shame to my family (the cruel comments which would come to my wife and children).

A bloodied conscience, and a sin which would ever be before me.

Disqualified from the calling and ministry I love.

Years of training, education, experience, all wasted for a moment of pleasure.

Irretrievable damage to my witness, especially among loved ones.

Being a stumbling block for the gospel to those in my community.

Possible physical consequences (gonorrhea, herpes, AIDS, the infection of my spouse, etc.)

The consequences are painful just to think about! If the mere thinking on these things brings pain, what would be the reality of it! A man who loses his moral integrity loses all respect and confidence. Make no mistake about it, falling into sexual immorality is to ruin one's life and ministry.

Proverbs 6:24 To keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. (Pr 2:16; 5:3; 7:5; Eccl 7:26)

The evil woman is on the prowl and she knows how to say the words you want to hear!

As Thomas Manton warned...

All sins are rooted in love of pleasure. Therefore be watchful.

Proverbs 6:25 Do not desire her beauty in your heart, Nor let her capture you with her eyelids. (Lust - 2Sa 11:2, 3, 4, 5; Mt 5:28; James 1:14,15) (2Ki 9:30; Song 4:9; Is 3:16)

Nor let her capture your eyelids - This advice is especially vital if you are in a situation where as a man you are giving counsel to a woman who is not your wife. In the first place this is probably not the best course of action but may be unavoidable. Whenever a woman begins to relate her trials or troubles to me and I sense she needs wise counsel, I send her to my wife who is a godly counselor. If as a man you must counsel a woman, number one, make sure your door is open and your window shades are open, so that you maintain visibility to others outside your office. Never physically touch a woman in private, and any physical contact should be in full view of others and done with utmost discretion. And finally, as Solomon warns in this passage, beware of eye contact which might be either flirtatious or inquisitive. Remember, she has eye makeup on and you don't!

As the Puritan writer William Gurnall well advised...

Set a strong guard about thy outward senses. These are Satan's landing-place, especially the eye and ear.

Proverbs 6:26 For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, and an adulteress * hunts for the precious life. (Pr 5:10; 29:3,8; Lk 15:13, 14, 15, 30) (1Sa 2:36) (Ge 39:14; Ezek 13:8)

For - Solomon explains the ultimate danger of making intimate eye contact.

Wiersbe says that...

To be "brought to a piece of bread" means to be degraded to the lowest level of poverty

Proverbs 6:27 Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? (Job 31:9, 10, 11, 12; Ho 7:4, 5, 6, 7; James 3:5)

Can a man take fire in his bosom - A rhetorical (for effect) question, the answer of which is obvious. The answer of course to this part of the question is "yes" he can do something so foolish, but read on.

And his clothes not be burned? - The answer of course is "no". He will be burned, which is a metaphor for complete ruin, for that is what literal fire does to a structure and in this case what the fire of adultery does to a man's life! (cp Pr 5:5, 11, 23, 7:23)

As G K Chesterton said...

All healthy men, ancient and modern, Eastern and Western, know that there is a certain fury in sex that we cannot afford to inflame, and that a certain mystery and awe must ever surround it if we are to remain sane.

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Proverbs 6:28 Or can a man walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched?

Sure he can walk on hot coals if he's stupid, but he is going to get burned. Pay your money and take your choice. You will reap what you sow.

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Proverbs 6:29 So is the one who goes in to his neighbor's wife. Whoever touches her will not go unpunished. (Ge 12:18,19; Lev 20:10; 2Sa 11:3,4; 12:9,10; 16:21; Je 5:8,9; Ezek 22:11; Mal 3:5) (Ge 20:4, 5, 6, 7; 26:10,11; 1Co 7:1)

So - Solomon draws a conclusion from his fiery metaphors. Just as when a man touches fire or hot coals, he is burned, so too will he be scorched for touching the fiery coals of sexual infidelity. King David, a man after God's own heart (Acts 13:22, had first hand experience with this proverb (see Nathan's rebuke and prophecy in 2Sa 12:7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18).

Proverbs 6:30 Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry;

Stealing food is a sin but pales in comparison to another man's wife!

Proverbs 6:31 But when he is found, he must repay sevenfold; He must give all the substance of his house. (Ex 22:1,3,4; 2Sa 12:6; Job 20:18; Lk 19:8) (Mt 18:25)

Proverbs 6:32 The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it. (Pr 7:7; Ge 39:9,10; 41:39; Eccl 7:25,26; Je 5:8,21; Ro 1:22, 23, 24)

Lacking sense - There is a loss of "common sense" when one enters into adultery as David did in 1Sa 11:1,2, 3, 4, 5 (note one person even tried to "talk some sense" into him by telling him Bathsheba was Uriah's wife! Love may be blind. But illicit love is both deaf and dumb!). To commit this sin amounts to a "temporary insanity" (in a moral sense). Even David must have known the basic divine principle of sowing and reaping (Gal 6:7, 8) and yet his lustful thoughts overwhelmed his common sense.

Proverbs 6:33 Wounds and disgrace he will find, and his reproach will not be blotted out. (Pr 5:9, 10, 11; Jdg 16:19, 20, 21; Ps 38:1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8; 51:8)

Wounds (05061) (nega') is from the Hebrew root ng' which describes that which pertains when one thing (or person) physically contacts another. This word then carries the sense of a person being stricken or smitten in some way. It often refers in Scripture to a blemish that has been created by touching,  most often a blemish inflicted by leprosy (Lev 13:2, 3, 4, 5, 6, etc "infection of leprosy").  Nega' could also describe a stroke or some other physical blow. In Scripture, it is usually God Who in some way metes out the plague or stroke. Here are some of the 62 OT uses of nega' - Ge. 12:17; Ex 11:1; 2Sa 7:14 - stripes; 1Ki 8:37, 38-plague, affliction, Ps 38:11; 39:10-stroke; Ps 89:32-stripes; Is 53:8 - prophesying of the stroke (ESV translates it "transgression") Messiah suffered in our place!
 

Disgrace (07036) (qalon) is shame and the feeling that comes with shame or dishonor. Here are the 17 uses of qalon in the OT - Job 10:15; Ps. 83:16; Pr 3:35; 6:33; 9:7; 11:2; 12:16; 13:18; 18:3; 22:10; Is 22:18; Jer. 13:26; 46:12; Hos. 4:7, 18; Nah. 3:5; Hab. 2:16

Reproach (02781) (cherpah) describes a cause or occasion of blame, discredit, disapproval, disappointment or disgrace. Here are the 72 uses in the OT - Ge 30:23; 34:14; Josh 5:9; 1Sa 11:2; 17:26; 25:39; 2Sa 13:13; Neh. 1:3; 2:17; 4:4; 5:9; Job 16:10; 19:5; Ps 15:3; 22:6; 31:11; 39:8; 44:13; 69:7, 9, 10, 19, 20; 71:13; 74:22; 78:66; 79:4, 12; 89:41, 50; 109:25; 119:22, 39; Pr. 6:33; 18:3; Is 4:1; 25:8; 30:5; 47:3; 51:7; 54:4; Jer. 6:10; 15:15; 20:8; 23:40; 24:9; 29:18; 31:19; 42:18; 44:8, 12; 49:13; 51:51; La 3:30, 61; 5:1; Ezek. 5:14, 15; 16:57; 21:28; 22:4; 36:15, 30; Da 9:16; 11:18; 12:2; Hos. 12:14; Joel 2:17, 19; Mic. 6:16; Zeph. 2:8; 3:18.

Blotted out (04229) (machah) means to be erased or wiped out, something that Solomon will not happen to the foolish man who commits adultery! And yet we know that God's mercy and grace in Christ opens the door to forgiveness and thus David prayed that his sin of adultery before God be blotted out, even as he confessed and repented (Ps 51:1, 9, cp Ps 32:1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7!). Here are the 32 uses in the OT - Ge 6:7; 7:4, 23-wiping out all life by the flood; Ex 17:14; 32:32f; Nu 5:23; 34:11; Deut 9:14; 25:6, 19; 29:20; Jdg 21:17; 2 Ki. 14:27; 21:13; Neh. 4:5; 13:14; Ps 9:5; 51:1, Ps 51:9; 69:28; 109:13f; Pr 6:33; 30:20; 31:3; Is 25:6, 8; 43:25; 44:22; Je 18:23; Ezek 6:6.
 

Proverbs 6:34 For jealousy enrages a man, And he will not spare in the day of vengeance. (Pr 27:4; Nu 5:14; 25:11; Jdg 19:29,30; Song 8:6; 1Co 10:22)

In Song of Solomon we read that...

Put me like a seal over your heart, Like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, Jealousy is as severe as Sheol; Its flashes are flashes of fire, The very flame of the LORD (NIV = " love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame"). (Song 8:6)

Proverbs 6:35 He will not accept * any ransom, Nor will he be satisfied