Almost 100 years
ago, Andrew Murray motivated by a waning understanding regarding
the truth and power inherent in God's covenants wrote that...
One of the words of Scripture, which is
almost going out of fashion, is the word 'Covenant'. There was a time when
it was the keynote of the theology and the Christian life of strong and
holy men. We know how deep in Scotland it entered into the national life
and thought. It made mighty men, to whom God, and His promise and power
were wonderfully real. It will be found still to bring strength and
purpose to those who will take the trouble to bring all their life (Ed
comment: and their marriages) under control of the inspiring assurance
that they are living in covenant with a God who has sworn faithfully to
fulfill in them every promise He has given. (Two
Covenants)
Covenant as defined by the Scriptures is a
solemn and binding
relationship which is meant to last a life time. This discussion will not
deal with the signing of a so-called "marriage covenant", but instead will emphasize
knowing the Biblical truth about the faithfulness of the covenant keeping
God. It is my contention that
when we come to know the Biblical truth regarding covenant (e.g., that
covenant involves a
"walk
Into death", that it
produces a supernatural
oneness between covenant partners,
and that it is ultimately
withholding nothing from God),
this truth will set us free (John 8:36), free to live as
we should in our marriages, and not to live as we please.
Let me give you a short personal testimony
(for the longer version click
A Testimony to God's Grace)
of the
transforming effect an accurate understanding of the truth about covenant
can have on a Christian marriage. The short version is that our marriage of 25 years was in serious trouble
in 1995, both of us having been born again about 10 years prior. In
the sovereignty of God, a
Precept
Ministries
inductive
Bible study
on Covenant (click
lesson 1)
was offered at our local church during the day and during the evening which
allowed both my wife and myself to attend. The Spirit of God took the
Biblical truth on covenant and radically transformed our marriage, restoring the "years that the locusts had eaten".
What transpired was nothing short of a miracle! Although, I cannot promise you a
miracle, if your marriage is in need of an infusion of transforming grace,
it might just be that this Precept course on
Covenant
is the truth that God's Spirit could use to revitalize, revive or restore
your relationship. This material on Covenant is also summarized in Kay Arthur's book "Our
Covenant God: Living in the Security of His Unfailing Love"
if you don't feel like you have time or energy to tackle a formal eleven week in depth Bible
study on Covenant.
Dennis Rainey a well known
Christian family life speaker writes that
"For the past two years I have had a
growing concern that the Christian community has passively watched the
"dumbing down" of the marriage covenant. Marriage has become little
more than an upgraded social contract between two people—not a holy
covenant between a man and a woman and their God for a lifetime. In
the Old Testament days a covenant
was
solemn and binding. When two people entered into a
covenant
with one another, a goat or lamb
would be slain and its carcass would be cut in half. With the two halves
separated and lying on the ground, the two people who had formed the
covenant would solemnize their promise by walking between the two halves
(Ed note: see
Covenant: A Walk into Death) saying, "May God do so to me [cut me in half] if I ever break this
covenant with you and God!" You get the feeling that a covenant in those
days had just a little more substance than today." (from
The Covenant of Marriage) (Bolding and links added)
Jack Hayford
writes that...
The covenant of
marriage is the single most important human bond that holds
all of God’s work on the planet together. It is no small wonder
that the Lord is passionate about the sanctity of marriage and the
stability of the home. This covenant of marriage is based
on the covenant God has made with us. It is in the power of His
promise to her mankind that our personal covenant of marriage
can be kept against the forces that would destroy homes and ruin
lives." (Hayford, J.
W. The Spirit-Filled Family : Holy Wisdom to Build Happy Homes.
Nashville: Thomas Nelson)
(Bolding added)
Marriage is
God's design -
One man for one woman as we
read in Genesis, the book of beginnings...
Genesis 1:1 the beginning God created the
heavens and the earth… Ge 1:26 Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image,
according to Our likeness… Ge 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good
for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper, who is
suitable, adapted and complementary for him."
Although the word "covenant" is
not actually used, Moses describes what is in its essence
the first covenant of marriage writing ...
So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he
slept. Then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.
And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from
the man and brought her to the man. And the man said, "This is now bone of
my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman, because she was
taken out of Man."
For this cause a man
shall leave his father and
his mother, and shall
cleave to his wife and they shall become
one flesh. (Ge 2:21, 22,
23, 24)
they shall become one flesh
pictures the
essence of covenant
(See
"Oneness of Covenant")
Genesis 2:24 could be paraphrased as follows...
For this cause a man shall leave his father and
his mother, and shall
stick like glue to his wife
(forcibly intimating that nothing but death should be allowed to
separate them) and they shall (become
one flesh as they) enter into a covenant relationship.
Jesus reinforced the idea that
marriage is a covenant relationship when the Pharisees tried to trap
Him (knowing that the rabbis were divided on this issue) with the
question of whether or not it was lawful for a man to divorce his
wife for "any cause at all". Jesus answered...
Have you not read (rather than
aligning Himself with either rabbinical position, Jesus appealed to
the authority of the Scriptures), that He who created them from the
beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, 'FOR THIS CAUSE A MAN
SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL CLEAVE TO HIS WIFE; AND
THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'
(oneness)?
Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore
God has joined together (note Who joined them), let no man separate. (Mt
19:4, 5, 6)
In ancient times,
covenant was the most
solemn and binding agreement
into which two parties could enter. It is tragic that this vital truth seems to
have been lost in much of our modern culture, including even in the church,
with devastating consequences to American families. It is critical that one understand the
truth about covenant, as it is
God's cornerstone for marriage as illustrated in the following section.
IN the
COVENANT of marriage
remember the following truths…
1) Two lives
become one:
(See
note)
In covenant you become identified with the other individual and there is a
supernatural commingling of two lives.
(two becoming one flesh) "is a mystery but it is an illustration of the way
Christ & the church are one." (Ep 5:32NLT-note)
In marriage, your family becomes your spouse's family, your desires your
beloved's
desires, and yes, even your finances are your covenant partner's finances
(including credit card bills!). (See
"Oneness of Covenant")
2) There is a
sign TO REMEMBER WHICH
SERVES AS A WITNESS AND A MEMORIAL
(See
note)
When God entered
covenant with Noah, He gave Noah the rainbow which was to be a testimony
that God would remain forever faithful to keep the covenant never again to
flood the earth so as to destroy all flesh.
In
Genesis 9:16
the LORD God
testified that...
When the
(rain) bow is in the cloud, then I will look upon it, to remember
the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all
flesh that is on the earth.
When a you enter covenant with
your beloved, the sign is usually a
ring which serves as a constant reminder (memorial) of the
solemn and binding of your marriage covenant.
3) THERE IS a
change in name
(See
note)
In Genesis 17:5,
15
when God reaffirmed His covenant with Abram, God said
No longer shall
your name be called Abram, but your name shall be Abraham; for I will make
you the father of a multitude of nations." “As for Sarai your wife, you
shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name.
As the wife takes
on her husband's name, this change symbolizes the supernatural identity and oneness
God intended for the partners who had entered the marriage covenant.
4) TheRE is a meaL SHARED
(See
note)
Biblical covenants
were often commemorated with a "covenant meal". The most famous "covenant
meal" is of course found in the New Covenant where we read that the Lord Jesus
on the
night
in which He was betrayed took bread and when He had given thanks, He
broke it, and said, “This is My body, which is for you; do this in
remembrance of Me.” In the same way He took the cup also, after supper,
saying, “This cup is the new
covenant in My blood; do this, as often as you drink it, in
remembrance of Me. (1Co 11:24, 25)
In a short while you
will probably celebrate your new covenant relationship by feeding each
other wedding cake which is a picture that you are now sharing a common
life, that two lives have become one.
5) THERE IS A FRIEND WHO WILL STICK CLOSER THAN A BROTHER
(See
note)
Friend is
a covenant term and is beautifully seen in God's covenant with Abraham. In
2Chronicles 20 there is a marvelous account of God's deliverance of
Judah's king, Jehoshaphat. Upon hearing of the enemy's advance
against him, King Jehoshaphat cried out to God, appealing to His covenant
relationship with Israel and reminding Him of who He is and of His great
power:
O LORD,
the God of our fathers
(an allusion to covenant with the patriarchs),
art Thou not God in the heavens? And art Thou not ruler over all the
kingdoms of the nations? Power and might are in Thy hand so that no
one can stand against Thee. Didst Thou not, O our God, drive out the
inhabitants of this land before Thy people Israel, and give it to
the descendants of Abraham Thy friend ('ahab)
forever (because the Abrahamic Covenant was everlasting)? (2
Chr 20:6, 7)
James underscores
the association of "covenant" and "friend" writing that when
Abraham offered up Isaac his son on the altar, his faith was shown to be
working with his works and thus...
The Scripture was fulfilled which says, "AND
ABRAHAM BELIEVED GOD (Abrahamic covenant),
AND IT
WAS RECKONED TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS," and he was called the friend
of God.
(Jas
2:22, 23-note)
In Genesis God declared to His covenant partner and "friend"...
Shall I hide
(keep secret, conceal, cover)
from Abraham what I am about to do, since Abraham will surely become
a great and mighty nation, and in him all the nations of the earth
will be blessed?" (Genesis 18:17,18)
Abraham was the
friend of God by virtue of entering covenant with Him. As friends in the
marriage covenant there should be no secrets kept or concealed from the
covenant partner.
6) THERE ARE
WITNESSES TO TESTIFY
In the Old Testament, the solemnity of
cutting covenant was often witnessed by setting up a memorial or sign. For
example, when Jacob cut a covenant with his father-in-law Laban, the
latter responded...
So now
come,
let us make a covenant, (cut a covenant) you and I, and let
it be a
witness (Hebrew = 'ed = someone or something that would be accepted to bear a true
testimony and in this context refers to an object which symbolized this
solemn event as a memorial) between you and me." Then Jacob took a
stone and set it up as a pillar. And Jacob said to his kinsmen, "Gather
stones." So they took stones and made a heap, and they ate there by the
heap. Now Laban called it
Jegar-sahadutha (Aramaic for "witness
heap") , but Jacob called it
Galeed
(Hebrew for "witness
heap") And Laban said, "This heap is a witness between you and
me this day." Therefore it was named
Galeed; and
Mizpah (watchtower),
for he said, "May the LORD watch between you and me when we are absent one
from the other. If you mistreat my daughters, or if you take wives besides
my daughters, although no man is with us, see, God is
witness between you and me. And Laban said to Jacob, "Behold this heap and behold
the pillar which I have set between you and me. "This heap is a witness,
and the pillar is a witness, that I will not pass by this heap to
you for harm, and you will not pass by this heap and this pillar to me,
for harm. "The God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their
father, judge between us (Solemn
and Binding)." So Jacob
swore
by the fear of his father Isaac.
Then Jacob offered a
sacrifice on the mountain, and called his kinsmen to
the meal (covenant meal); and they ate the meal and spent
the night on the mountain.
(Ge 31:44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54)
The heap of stones served as a witness
that neither party would break their
solemn, binding
covenant, and God was called as their Witness. Similarly when a man and a
woman enter into the solemn, binding covenant of marriage, witnesses are
present, the highest of which is God Himself.
When Dennis Rainey's daughter, Ashley,
was married, he noted that...
...as Michael and Ashley
contemplated their wedding day, we talked about how they could exalt God
and about the pledge they would make with God and with one another. Their
vows were taken to an artist who then created a large document titled,
"Our Holy Covenant on Our Wedding Day." During the ceremony Ashley and
Michael signed the document after they had recited their vows. Family
members were then asked to come forward and sign their names as
witnesses of their covenant. Then the pastor asked for a few
members of the audience to sign it as well. By doing so, these people not
only became formal witnesses of the covenant, but they also
agreed to pray for Ashley and Michael's marriage and hold them accountable
to keep their vows to one another. Later at the reception more than 100
people signed their covenant, filling the parchment. As I stood by the
covenant I heard people say, "They are really serious about
this, aren't they?" I couldn't help but think, "Isn't this what
marriage was intended to be in the first place? The most sacred promise we
will ever make to another person?" (from
The Covenant of
Marriage) (Bolding added)
Covenant
in the Bible clearly represents a serious commitment between two parties.
The covenant between Jacob and Laban was so serious that God was called to
serve as a witness! In view of the divinely ordained nature of the
covenant of marriage, it too is a solemn, binding agreement that is
witnessed to by the attendees. Sadly, too few married couples or
wedding witnesses have a sense of the seriousness of the covenant or
of their role as life long witnesses.
7) THERE IS A
COVENANT PARTNER TO DEFEND
(See
note)
We see this principle of covenant vividly illustrated in the covenant
David cut with Saul's son Jonathan. In this exchange we see that covenant
is stronger than paternal ties (Jonathan was more committed to his
covenant partner David than to his father, King Saul!) and stronger than
personal ambition (Jonathan would have been next in line to be king but
willingly released that right to his covenant partner David!). This
covenant relationship (which some have misinterpreted as a
homosexual partnership -
see discussion) clearly took priority over all other
relationships.
First Samuel records that...
Jonathan made (cut) a covenant (karath beriyth) with David
because he loved him as himself. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe
that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword
and his bow and his belt. (1Sa 18:3, 4)
(See
discussion of the significance of this action)
Henry Morris
rightly concludes that
The practice of bestowing one's garments and weapons upon another is
known from archaeological discoveries to have symbolized the transfer of
one's position to another. Jonathan evidently knew that God, through
Samuel, had chosen David to be the next king over Israel instead of
himself (1Sa 16:13),
and he gladly accepted this as God's will." (Morris,
Henry: Defenders Study Bible. World Publishing)
This exchange is
also a picture of "putting on your covenant partner" or of the two
becoming one (Ge 2:24, Ep 5:31-note). The exchange of armor is a picture of a willingness to take
on the other's enemies, one covenant partner saying to the other in
essence "I am now bound to defend you from your enemies."
(Husbands, compare 1Co 13:7 -
see
discussion below). Remember that
covenant in ancient times was a bond in blood (cp Ge 15:9, 10, 18). Therefore, when two people or parties
entered into covenant, they understood that everything they had was now
held in common, even each other's enemies (cp "credit card debts", etc!).
Whenever one was under attack, it was the duty of the other to come to his
aid.
What were David and Jonathan saying?
They were saying
that "Because you and I are no longer living independent lives, but are in
covenant-and because covenant is the most solemn, binding agreement that
can be made between two parties-I am bound by covenant to defend you from
your enemies. Those who attack you become my enemies."
Because of their covenant which
was binding unto death, Jonathan committed to defend David at all
costs, first Samuel recording his promise to David that...
"If it
please my father to do you harm, may the LORD do so to Jonathan and more
also ("covenant is death to one's self interests"!), if I do not make it known to you and send you away, that you may go
in safety. And may the LORD be with you as He has been with my father.
(1Sa 20:13)
We see this principle of covenant
defender later when Jonathan knowing that his father King Saul seeks to
king David, says to David...
"Go in safety,
inasmuch as We have sworn to each other in the name of the LORD , saying,
'The Lord will be between me and you, and between my descendants and your
descendants forever (see
fulfillment in life of Mephibosheth).'' Then he rose and departed, while Jonathan went into
the city." (1Sa
20:42)
In the New Testament Luke records
Paul's encounter with the resurrected Christ, an incident which clearly
demonstrates the covenant commitment of the Lord to defend His those who
have entered the New Covenant with Him by faith...
And it came about that as he journeyed, he was
approaching Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him;
and he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul,
Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” And he
said, “Who art Thou, Lord?” And He said, “I
am Jesus whom you are persecuting" (Acts
9:3, 4, 5).
Who had Saul been persecuting? Was Saul not persecuting
those in covenant (the new covenant in His blood - Je 31:31, Lk 22:20, 1Co
11:25) with the Lord Jesus
Christ even
"breathing threats and murder
against the disciples of the
Lord (Acts 9:1, 2)
And so we see that Scripture clearly
teaches that those in covenant are responsible to defend their covenant
partner. How much more poignant and imperative could this directive be
than in the holy covenant of marriage in a culture which has lost the
knowledge of this critical truth and where all too often marriage partners
instead of being defenders become persecutors and enemies? Beloved, this
was not God's original design. If there are "walls" and/or "wounds", ask God to
examine your heart and strengthen your hands to do the right thing
according to His good and acceptable and perfect will.
How does a husband defend his covenant partner?
(As a husband I speak primarily to the
men, but the principle is applicable to wives.) There are many ways to
answer this question but one that might surprise you is to read (meditate
on)
the poignant and pithy little book of Ruth, observing
especially how Boaz the kinsman redeemer interacts with Ruth the
Moabitess in Ruth 2 (Ru 2:8, 9, 10, 11-note,
Ru 2:12, 13, 14-note).
As husbands we should pay very close attention to Ruth 2:15, 16...
When she rose to glean, Boaz commanded
his servants, saying, "Let her glean even among the sheaves, and do not
insult her (see
notes) And also you
shall purposely pull out for her some grain from the bundles and leave it
that she may glean, and do not rebuke her." (Read
the explanatory notes).
Also pay careful attention to how Boaz treats Ruth
in chapter 3 where he "covered" her and defended her honor (Ru
3:1, 2, 3-note,
Ru 3:4, 5, 6, 7-note;
Ru 3:8, 9, 10, 11, 12-note,
Ru 3:13, 14, 15-note,
Ru 3:16, 17, 18-note),
much as did Joseph centuries later...
Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as
follows. When His mother Mary had been betrothed (engagement
or betrothal in Jesus' day could only be broken by divorce and so was as
binding as the actual covenant of marriage!) to Joseph, before they
came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. And
Joseph her husband, being a righteous man, and not wanting to disgrace
(paradeigmatizo from para = beside, in view, publicly. In short
paradeigmatizo = put something alongside of a thing by way of commending
it to imitation or avoidance. To make an example of or expose to public
disgrace) her, desired to put her away secretly. 20 But when he had
considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream,
saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife;
for that which has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. (Mt
1:18, 19, 20, where "disgrace" means to expose to public shame!)
In 1Corinthians 13 we read
God's convicting definition of love is often read in marriage ceremonies,
and in Paul's definition one can see many practical ways for the husband
to defend his covenant partner
Love is patient, love is kind, and is
not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act
unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take
into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but
rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes
all things, endures all things. (1Co 13:4-note,1Co
13:5, 6-note,
1Co 13:7,8-note).
Take time to read and
meditate on
this passage in light of the
truths you've seen about covenant calling one to defend their
covenant partner.
LOVE
BEARS
ALL THINGS
You have read and perhaps even heard
someone teach on 1Cor 13:7
(notes) but you still
may not fully understand what Paul meant by love bears all things.
The Greek verb translated bears
is
stego
which is derived from a root word, steg, which means to cover or
conceal. A related derivative word stege which is used to describe
a thatched roof or covering for a building. The idea conveyed by the verb
stego
is first to protect by covering, then
to conceal, to cover over or to forebear. At its core
stego
denotes an activity which blocks entry
of something from without or exit from within. In secular Greek
stego
was used to describe a
ship as that which "held back" the salt water or of that which
kept the ship
tight (and by implication allowed it to stay afloat! Interesting picture
in a discussion on marriage!) Figuratively,
stego conveys the idea of covering over by maintaining silence.
Can you see how this definition of
bears all things relates to a
husband's role as covenant defender of his marriage partner?
Your
understanding of and commitment
to your marriage covenant produces a Spirit empowered (Ep 5:18-note) love which
covers over the faults of your
covenant partner, (rather than exposing her faults to other in off
color humor or even with a desire to embarrass her. cp Pr 12:16 where
"dishonor" = insult, disgrace or shame) HUSBANDS! Never, ever do
this to your covenant partner! Read the
notes
attached to Ruth 2:15, 16-notes).
To conceal a matter protects one's covenant partner. How are you doing in this area?
Remember you can only genuinely carry this action out under the control
(filling) of the Holy Spirit and His power. Note also that
stego
is in the
present tense, which indicates that this is to be
one's continual
or habitual activity! Husbands, just try to carry out this exhortation in
your own strength. You might make a day or even a week, but eventually
your "natural" strength will collapse. Verses like this and Eph 5:25-note
calling (present
imperative =
commanding this attitude and action as a lifestyle) for husbands to
continually love their wives with Christ-like, selfless agape love, make
it very clear the only way to have the desire and power (Php 2:13NLT-note)
is to walk by faith (2Co 5:7) and in God's Spirit (Gal 5:16-note).
><>><>><>
Life Action Ministries in their
handout "Honoring the Covenant of Marriage" (Download)
states that...
Marriage by definition is:
1. A holy covenant
2. Initiated by God
3. Conditioned on an irrevocable promise
4. Oneness with an imperfect person of the opposite sex
5. For a lifetime
6. To glorify God
